Charlie’s Manifesto

I don't believe the old poems
I don't believe that anyone sings
I don't believe in rhyme
I don't believe that something is better than nothing
I don't believe the future will be better than the past
I believe that the present is what happened five minutes ago, plus five minutes
I believe in uncertainty
I believe in salt water
I don't believe in charity
I believe that everything is personal
I don't believe that anyone can like anyone as much as they like themselves
I believe in kissing
I believe in drunkenness and headaches
I believe in caffeine
I believe there is such a thing as too much caffeine
I believe in citrus
I believe in panadol
I believe in the smell of a sick person's room
I believe in knees and toes and hair and skin
I believe in dandruff and morning breath
I believe that sleep is underrated
I don't believe that if you eat your crusts, you'll get curly hair
I believe in competence
I believe in boredom and routine
I believe that we are what we repeatedly do
I believe that all we can do is what we've learnt from others
I believe that all we're doing, is what we've seen others do
I don't believe that anyone actually knows what they're doing
I don't believe that having kids makes you a better person
I don't believe that being a bad parent makes you a bad person
I believe that success is a form of deception
I believe that the big and significant is contained in the small and insignificant
I don't believe in public displays of discipline
I don't believe in the Freudian slip
I believe that art is a crutch
I believe in food
I believe in food that you can eat with your hands
I believe in the pleasure of hunger before a meal
I believe in the difference between salty and sweet
I believe in tomato sauce sachets
I believe in a banana for breakfast
I don't believe in expensive wine
I don't believe that baked is necessarily better than fried
I believe that the Lamington and the Anzac biscuit are probably New Zealand inventions
I believe in fruit bowls
I believe in leftovers
I believe in vegemite toast
I believe in baths
I believe in hay fever
I don't believe that what is really hot or really cold will ever be anything but really hot or really cold
I believe in afternoon naps
I believe in sunburn
I believe in a well-lit room
I believe in public transport
I don't believe in country towns
I believe in aloneness
I believe in houseboats
I believe in movie theatres
I believe in getting away with murder
I believe that the antidote to happiness is knowledge
I believe that vague people are liars
I believe that if you put an onion in the ground, you'll just get more onions