Chapter 5. Ayahuaska

So
I'm walking to the beach
And on the way to the ocean to drown myself
I see a friend of mine and she says do I want to go with her to this healing ceremony where you take ayahuasca and see snakes and visions and all that
So I say sure
But after that
I need a lift to the beach
Cause I'm gonna go drown myself
So she drives me to these back roads to Santa Cruz
Some kinda yoga retreat type place that's real nice and new-agey
And I grab a brochure
And when I open the brochure
There's nothing inside
Just blank pages
So I think okay this is genius
I'm in

I go inside and the room is laid out like a hexagon
And in the center is the leader and the musicians
The room is divided so men are on one side and women are on the other
And everybody is dressed like stewardesses and pilots
With blue V-neck sweaters and slacks and
Pilot shoes
And they all have these buttons that say nothing
And a line forms to receive this special beverage
The leader doles out these little cups
And when he looks at you he sort of vibes you out to see how much he should give you
I don't know if he gave me a lot or a little
It tasted like stale rotting yeasty granular beer
Well after while
Yes I began to trip
And as with any trip experience I was slightly insecure about the whole situation
But I carried on
The first kinda bad thing going down is there's people puking all over the place
I'm trying to look forward and not check anyone out
But basically in my periphery I can see people puking all over the place

And a woman fell to the floor
In some kind of grand mal seizure
I think she was gonna gag on her own vomit
And I see my friend whos lying beneath the chair
Basically, playing with some pretend cotton candy
And then the second treatment comes up
And this time I can't feel my hands
And this one girl starts to lose it
She's just jumping up and down in her chair
And making sounds like a monkey
And she actually looks like a monkey to me
And the leader comes over and he looks like a prairie dog to me
He's got kinda slick back hair and two big buck teeth and
The way he's looking its like hes scanning the horizon like a prairie dog does
And he starts slapping the monkey real hard
And there's another woman I look at
And she has the face of a mole
But when I look away
And then look back
Her face is back to normal
And all of a sudden I feel a snake inside my chest
And it passes through me really fast and out my arm and out my hand which is now pointing at the mole
It goes down Immediately as the snake goes out of my hand
The mole goes down
Just [?]
And I start speaking jibber jabber
Gas pedal
Garbage can
Babysitter
Moped
NASCAR

And then I'm flying above the city
This city
And I can see everything
And everything is transparent
I can see it all
But I can see through it
I can see the tops of the buildings but also the insulation and the wood
And then the sheet rock
And through the lights
And through the skulls of people
And through their brain cells
And their desks, and computers, and microchips
And on and on down to the centre of the earth
I can see it all
And I say to myself
Society is so sad
Look at all the people
Look at them eating
Walking and sleeping
Befriending and loving
Raising children
Working hard
Raising toasts
Sharing sorrows
Fighting for rights
Marrying
Birthing
Adopting
Chasing dreams
Not giving up
Struggling hard
Saving money
Getting haircuts
Looking sharp
Entering buildings
Completing tasks
It makes me sad

And then as I'm flying
I get to this factory
It's the worst factory
It's hell
It's slavery inside
People are working
It's burning hot like New York subways
Everyone is half dressed and half passed out
Shoveling things into things
Packaging things
And it's just dark

And I see that they're all making this stuff
They make everything
Everything that we know

Flip flops
Paper clips
Rubber bands
Salt and pepper shakers
All the stuff
And they're making it all out of this stuff from this giant vat
And in the giant vat is blue powder
All the stuff that we know
And we know everything
Is made of blue powder

And then I'm back at the ceremony
And it's as if all the creatures of the forest are there looking at me
And I tell them
I found the blue powder building
And all these animals are staring at me
Which is when the snake shows up

The snake starts talking to me
He says “Hello Sonny”
But he's got a Texas accent
I don’t know why
And he asks me for the money
He's got the voice of this homeless guy that hangs out around the make out room and he's asking me for the money
I don't have it
He says go get it
And there's a long pause
And then he says
If you don't have the money
Just balance on one leg for a while