Change

I tried ending my depression
With every studio session
Thinking everything around me should be straight
Then I get home
I feel alone
Dead in my bed for 7 days and it feel like The Ring
And I do hate
That I’m late
To every date
And occasion
Cause I’m outside
By my lonesome
Yeah I’m blazing
And I’m drinking
And erasing
Most of my memory
Fading with my patience
Escalating with my mind
And it’s amazing
All this time that I been wasting
Stuck in the concrete
Chasing pavement
Or paper chasing
Them paper cuts in her wrist was quiet statements
Mental escaping
Of sunken places
Gaps and spaces
Empty conversations
I haven’t been myself but you ain’t say shit

How could this be
Why you keep on playing with me
Tell me tell me how would you do
If the shit just falls back on you
And you just can’t keep playing these games
Fucking with my heart and my brain
Why oh why you do me this way
Hoping that one day you change

I haven’t been myself for like a month now
I pick the pen up and put the blunts down
I’m trying to get myself up out the slumps now
But it’s like rapid fire when my brain starts to touch down
Feeling defeated
I really needed
A hug today right now
Feeling so empty
I rather simply
Smile instead I usually frown
I don’t know why
This happens to me
Try putting my brain at ease
But it don’t work that easily
I hope my grandma is praying for me
When I’m at home
I feel so alone
No one to call
To talk on the phone
All in my head
All in my bed
I know what I said
I know what I said like

How could this be
Why you keep on playing with me
Tell me tell me how would you do
If the shit just falls back on you
And you just can’t keep playing these games
Fucking with my heart and my brain
Why oh why you do me this way
Hoping that one day you change