Census Song

And we followed the star over Bethlehem
To find the city just swarming with nephilim
And we Israelites were afraid of them
We couldn't believe our god had created them

And we said: "God
Where is this land that you promised us?"
And we said: "God
Where is this savior you promised us?"

And the people there were so tall
They seemed to stand taller than old Jericho's wall
We marched for forty days, all in all
And blew our damn trumpets, but we couldn't make 'em fall

And god said to Abraham:
"Could you find me a virgin?"
And he said: "God
I tried but I'm still searching

'cause this land has gone to Gomorrah
It's no longer suitable for you
Or all us here who adore you
You ought to sweep it down the River Jordan"

And god said to lot:
"Could you find me just one virgin?"
And he said "God
Y'know... I'm still searching

Cause all the virgins turned to salt
And yeah, they might have looked back, but you can't say it's their fault
They had to watch their city turn to dust
You picked a hell of a time to call a census"