Carving This Hell

Wake alone on your shelf
Fearing from this hell
Medicated im losing balance
Suffocating from myself

Twisting pathways never seem to end
Watching you work your way through the woodwork to me
Buried deep beneath my skin
Im sick of this ill cut you out and move on

Taking chances breaking free theirs no end to this I can't see
The writing on the walls explaining my delusions
Fading in the background in front of me, lose this atrocity
Where do you wanna be, I wish I never met you

And your friends, filled to the brim with painkillers
Opioids amphetamines, filling up my brain with negativity
Its this addictions, afflictions, in front of mе
I guess its time I left you

I’vе wondered, I’ve wondered more times then I can count
If I left you behind, would I still hate myself
I’ve pondered, I’ve pondered back and forth staring at me
If I could love myself, would I still be in this hell

Wake alone on your shelf
Fearing from this hell
Misery seems to find my shoulder
Fall in love with me again

Looking at you makes me break again
Seeing you smiling in the reflection with him, not me
Self-destructive tendencies seem to leech inside my hands
Take control of my thought process I just really need a friend

Who can understand this, no one but me
Living in this hell it’s built on self negativity
I know that I won’t help me get where I wanna really be
Lock myself inside my room board up the windows a crescendo of my mental state

I take a step back and I analyze
To specify my temperament I need to leave
Emphasize you criticize the means of me
Improvise you jeopardize the means to see

2x
I’ve wondered, I’ve wondered more times then I can count
If I left you behind, would I still hate myself
I’ve pondered, I’ve pondered back and forth staring at me
If I could love myself, would I still be in this hell