CANT HEAL

Im not feeling real
Every word she says
It echoes in my skull
Told me I was nothing
And I believed her
I laugh at the party
But its all fucking fake
I carry those words
Like knives in my chest
Behind my smile
Bleeding out slowly
Like a mirror cracked
Down in the middle
Every piece of me
Reflecting back her voice
Break me without touching
Silence louder, scream
Memory's a wound
That won't fucking close

And I can't scream
I can't heal
Now i can't sleep
Now i can't feel
Just her voice
In my fucking head
Over and over and over again

Im not asking to be saved
Im just asking for the pain
To mean something
Every night I wonder if
Dying would stop this loop
Or if I'd just carry her
With me into the dark

Im so tired
Of pretending im strong
Choking on whats
Left of me tonight