Canadian Idiot

[Verse 1]
Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don't wanna be some beer-swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

[Chorus]
They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny?
Their stupid Monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all

[Verse 2]
Well, maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot

[Chorus]
Sure, they've got their national healthcare
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again, well, they've got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of drivin' a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

[Verse 3]
Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

[Chorus]
Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin'
So quick, before they see it comin'
Time for a pre-emptive strike!