Can’t stay away from disaster

Pray-in in my head that this all will stop. People whisper when im near. Why are people scared of me? clearly I'm the only one they are afraid of. MAYBE IM A MONSTER. They always come and go. No happy ever after. No ever after, am I a mother’s child or am I a fathers child? Can’t stay away from disaster it can only go so far. Is it who I am. It changes with the stars. It only brings out the worst in you too. No happy ever after, no ever after. Please someone prove me wrong. Don’t know who I am anymore. But we almost had it all. What am I supposed to do when i’m not strong? And I know it’s not the answer. But I can’t help it. I almost defeated it.I’t tried to stay. I can’t I can’t I CAN’T STAY AWAY FROM DESASTER IT ALWAYS FOLLOWS ME WHERE EVER I GO. When I have it ,it defeats me. I was the loveliest of all. Yea I begged for your forgiveness. You know life isn’t fair at all at all. But I try. Yea I tried to warn you. Im tired of holding on. Someone please come help me. please come help me… please