Call Me Gary

[Verse]
Ma was happy to have a father figure in my life
When I was six years old
Father Lawrence would come over to the house once a week for dinner
And then he'd take me to the movies
And tell me how God loves me
He said, "Call me Gary"
One day he took me out in his old Jalopy
To go get ice cream
And he bought me a vanilla cone
And he drove all around town
And the next thing I remember I was frozen stiff
Staring straight ahead at the dirt spots on the windshield
Holding up the cone as the ice cream melted and ran down my arm
Every Sunday mass, he'd be up there
Waving that ball of incense back and forth
And we stood when he read the gospels
And he absolved us from our sin
And later on he'd tell Ma, he'd drive me home and we'd go out for ice cream
And I remember when I was fourteen years old
I was standing with two of my buddies and we bonded over what we never talked about
And there was Father Lawrence bent down at the knees
Face to face with a first grader with a big smile
And his hands on the boys shoulders, saying "Call me Gary"
I'm thirty-seven now, I'm married
I love her, but I don't like intimacy
I don't like being touched
And if there's a heaven I don't believe in anymore
And Father Lawrence gets up to the gates
I wonder if Saint Peter's gonna say
"I understand I can call you Gary"
My wife says I'm a good person, so smile goddamn it
And I got an award for salesman of the year
And every now and then, I'm back in that old Jalopy
Holding up that cone and the ice creams melting and running down my arm