​by the grain

[Verse 1]
Realistically wasting my time
And don't claim you understand
You'll run out of road if you're way too gassed
We'll never last this
I wanna know myself 'fore I should take my life
The other side's so inviting
Why you hanging 'round the wrong peers?
2D smiles but they're full of fear
I can see through the white lies
Fuck a check, I ain't switch sides
Matter of fact, think I'll own mine
Call it wraps, called her five times
Colon cramps, body's prolly fine
I been worse, and burnt more ties than mountains climbed
What the fuck
I hardly get any rest
When I lay me some ground
All my drеams make me sweat
Wеll, honestly what'd I expect, I'm a tremor
Who's born to make course with a crest
And since you've got room to assume
I'll repaint the walls to a shade you once knew
But I'll say it once to conclude
It's only to falter youth
Sending it down through my face to my gut
Fireworks sound while I've waited enough
I ain't care much, I been down on my love shit
After effect of it damage and lunges
Kicking and punching
Wonder and covet
Smoke in this oven I claim to be nothing
Under the covers, I wake into sunder
And panic then start to malfunction
These eyes are so indecisive
Catching the sights that are so uninvited
Well anything but ultraviolet
Going outside, my anxiety heightens
So I'll stay inside and be silent
Minus the music and all of the crying
Don't keep a snooze 'cause I'm up when the sky dim
Yet prone to mute and respond autopilot

[Chorus]
She told me that I'm smart
"I'm better than that?"
She told me I can start to feel something
She told me I could be something greater
Then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

[Verse 2]
No one to lend a hand
Through the sawdust
In this foreign land
Is this all that you want?
Forever we run, even if we're not
Indefinite rot
Smoldered lungs while I talk
And no it ain't from the green
From birth I've been clean
But I kinda wanna be, to escape reality
No way this life was meant for me
Never will I come to be fine with low expectancies
I'm fucking selfish, can't you see?
A frozen-hearted entity
Thaw the guard that shadows me
Too intolerant to speak
Cut my lips and break my teeth
Numb my limbs, but make it brief
I've got nowhere else to be
But miss the way it used to be
Did you feel the same for me
My eyes cry with the help of high life
Can't you tell I repel with a fat lie
Any sort of love will numb me
Numb enough to pass life
I sense two decisions
One's to splurge my thoughts and cast rhymes
It was eight in the morning, I'm shipped like I'm cargo
Heart in my chest beating out like a bongo
Swipin' a scan of myself like a bar code
Way past the date by some days, not alarmed though
Rotten a bit, feelin' sick, sorta rank
Lil' bit of soap, it could wash out the stains
I ain't been fuckin' with none of y'all lames
A couple of plays, now you thinkin' you great
This not a game, fuck a charade
Pressin' the keys until I feel okay
Throughout the day
'Til I collapse and wake up on my face
Block out the sound with a video game
Or something to drink
Lemon and sugar remind me of fate
It's sorta sour but sweet by the grain
Sweet by the grain, ayy

[Chorus]
She told me that I'm smart
"I'm better than that?"
She told me I can start to feel something
She told me I could be something greater
Then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater