By My Lonesome

[Chourus] x2
By my lonesome, uh I take meds till it’s over
Devil still standing on my shoulder
“I’m doing fine” yeah that’s what I told her, uh
Balling till my last quarter, money-hungry yeah I got a disorder
I cannot change, cannot control it, off the pills yeah I stay rolling
Had to leave her she was too controlling
But then again, she left me frozen, oh
She left me on open, I ain't love her I was just lonely, damn

[Verse]
By my lonesome oh, I take drugs by my lonely
Please don’t judge you don’t know me
Everyday feel likе the same, I don’t evеn know why I’m still hoping
Why I’m still hoping, maybe I’m chosen, maybe it’s Gods will
Can’t forgive for what he did, I don’t trust God still, oh no
I know that I’ll work it out, that’s for Hell or Heaven to figure out
I’ve got no feelings now, all of them broken down, I’m out of town
Hell or Heaven? That is the question, that I keep wondering
Lose all these bad habits in my body, or eternal suffering
Maybe don’t make decisions when you high, I done learned that the hard way
I keep pumping out music, I just do what my heart says
I'm just tryna get by, keep doing what your job says
Keep doing what your family want, It's hard all my demons hunt
They look for me, yeah they search for me, I need my stomach pumped with the urgency
Pick my brain ain't no surgery
I'm so lost but you found me, you keep the bad vibes from round me
Hopefully, you don't leave me, then again I'd leave me
Second-guessing, I'm high clearly, oh

[Chourus] x2
By my lonesome, uh I take meds till it’s over
Devil still standing on my shoulder
“I’m doing fine” yeah that’s what I told her, uh
Balling till my last quarter, money-hungry yeah I got a disorder
I cannot change, cannot control it, off the pills yeah I stay rolling
Had to leave her she was too controlling
But then again, she left me frozen, oh
She left me on open, I ain't love her I was just lonely, damn

[Verse]
I keep dropping out all these songs, I know that they still can't right wrongs
But that's okay now, I'm in my grave now, already digged, oh
Already dug, sipping on drugs smoking on syrup
High off my ass on the last bar, finish in increments, rapping ain't that hard
So you say, this shit getting difficult almost every day
Imma go on record and say I haven't recorded
One time I tried but mission aborted, I'll try again watch me lie again
I ain't innocent maybe in a sense, another dimension
Myself an extension, built up with tension, I forgot to mention
Same me in the same year, when was the last I made that clear?
I was prolly sipping Everclear, vision foggy demons near
Let me get off this chair, Imma get em outa here
Imma put em in a vault, throw the key in the ocean
I got plans for my future, hopefully, you'll be in it
I don't know how, I don't know where, but hopefully you'll be next to me, I'm addicted to you like ecstasy
Lemme refrain from that, let me dial it back
All that lovey-dovey, I'm not okay with that, I remember one time I hated that
Now I wanna spend every day with that, oh times have changed
No, I'm not the same, don't know if this for better
I cannot sweat her, I only just met her let's just say this year
But back to reality, head up in the clouds with a sense of morality
Young but wise so please don't challenge me
A rude awakening is what you gonna see
A living legend is what I'm gonna be
I'm not self-absorbed, I'm just feeling me
Being myself is my greatest enemy, oh
I'm still balling, I'm still balling, just on a different court
If I gotta go out early that's my last resort
Imma make it till I'm thirty and then I'll pass the torch
Just remember not to blow out the light
Don't be scared, only one of my demons bite
But he's locked away, from the light of day, left to decay, left to rot
It ain't in my spot no more at least, yeah it needs a leash sometimes it feeds, sometimes I bleed, in those rare moments of my human form, I gotta do better yeah I must reform, oh

[Chourus] x2
By my lonesome, uh I take meds till it’s over
Devil still standing on my shoulder
“I’m doing fine” yeah that’s what I told her, uh
Balling till my last quarter, money-hungry yeah I got a disorder
I cannot change, cannot control it, off the pills yeah I stay rolling
Had to leave her she was too controlling
But then again, she left me frozen, oh
She left me on open, I ain't love her I was just lonely, damn