Busy Beaver Lunch Break [CODENAME_SPOTLIGHT SEARCH]

I’m lost in an alley somewhere between Spaulding and Kedzie hiding from cis men
I’ve got my one-hitter stuffed with girl scout cookie
Just enough to sizzle my eyes so my sail back into view is warm
I don’t recall who I am
I don’t remember anything
Clasping a view is sucking in plasticity
And I’ve not dreamt and sat with you in quite a few armfuls
Its been months since I’ve caught sight of myself at a sustainable distance
I’ve not glowed with fine-feathered broadcasts with my apartment amidst space and time
Within local contexts and vocal complex characters bright and born in 1995
This delusion of a physique, an exciting panic
A losing fusing stone of oxygen
I suffer less, so much less
(“take all your pills, sleep all day” / take all your thrills, slip all day)
I’ve dripped and fallen through a tiny eye like a camel hovering with wide angel sails
She was shown the way through heaven’s gate
A gate drenched in tears
Will I find accumulated shit underneath the fallacy that I am far away rather than nirvana-tied
That distant girl chained up inside the cavity above fragile winding roads
A water balloon filled with tears
Like a fuck palace built with particle board
Like a reality made from reality
“I’m so sorry, Angel. I’m so sorry, Angel
Do you want me to walk with you?”
Like a fucking water balloon filled with tears
Nirvana is without concepts
I could take a gander at ourselves and say we are graying, graying, graying
I see life sprouting little mushrooms and homes from within our collective corpse
I smell that corpse
Total desaturation and karmic seeds
Very little fire
Much room for dreaming
Unstable and shallow
Reaching stakes
Intertwine, interweave
(Round up some awake and awake and sun rising wide open vast blue sky)