Business Time (Script)

Title: Business Time

[The episode begins at Iceberg Lake where Finn is lighting a flamethrower with a Flambit]

Finn: Yeah! [Laughs and torches an iceberg] Yeah!

[The iceberg melts, exposing several objects inside]

Finn: I found another bike, and more computers. What do you got?

Jake: I keep finding baby shoes!

[Jake torches an iceberg with his flamethrower and exposes more baby shoes]

Jake: WHAT THE HECK, MAN?! And they're all lefties! Sorry I'm not finding any loot.

Finn: Keep it together, chubby, because I think we found enough scrap to finish building our gauntlet dock; a dock that is also a gauntlet.

Jake: Aww. Building this gauntlet dock is hard, man. Hard work sucks.

Finn: Don't be lazy, Jake.

[There's a bubbling noise coming from the lake behind Finn and Jake]

Finn: Huh?

Jake: Incoming iceberg!

Finn: Whoa! That one's huge!

Jake: I got dibs! Ooo. I hope it's not baby shoes.

[Jake wipes the surface of the ice, which reveals a face within the ice]

Jake: [Gasps] It's a guy.

Finn: Creepy. It's a buncha guys.

Jake: You know what they remind me of? Well-dressed pickles.

Finn: Stand back, Jake! I'm gonna melt 'em outta there! Full charge.

[Finn blasts a huge flame out of his flamethrower and Jake runs up to stop him]

Jake: Whoa, don't roast 'em, man. You gotta flambé.

[Jake gently brushes the flame across the iceberg and it soon melts]

Jake: Ah. Perfecto. Bon appetit.

Finn: Hey! Can you hear me? Hello?

Jake: [Knocking on one of their heads] I don't think they made it.

Finn: Hey. [Reaching for a briefcase] This one's got some kind of pack.

[One of them comes to life and pushes Finn away; Finn screams]

Red-tie businessman: I remember... business.

Finn: Let go! Let go! Let go!

Red-tie businessman: We... are businessmen.

Finn: Oooh... Well, I'm Finn and he's Jake.

Jake: What kind of business do you do?

Red-tie businessman: Been frozen... so long, I... [The businessmen all shake their heads, as if in pain] can't remember. Can't remember! Oh. Looking for help, your business? We love work for you.

Finn: Nah. Adventurers don't need any help.

Jake: Yes! Help us fix that dock.

Red-tie businessman: Dock-ka?

Jake: Yeah! Right over there.

Red-tie businessman: Yes. This dock-ka... could be more... efficient.

Finn: No! Wait!

[The businessmen reel back and murmur as if frightened]

Finn: Jake, this dock is our fun pie. We should be the ones to bake it.

Jake: But they're begging for it, Finn. Just look at 'em.

[The businessmen look excited and several of them are drooling]

Businessmen: [Murmuring] Build dock. Build dock.

Jake: Finn. These poor souls are lost without jobs. We can't ignore their plight.

Finn: Uhh...

Jake: [To the businessmen] Go on guys, fix it up!

Businessmen: Woo!

[The businessmen murmur excitedly as they run over to the dock and begin building]

Finn: Well... they do seem really happy to do it.

Jake: Of course, man. They said they "love work for you."

Businessmen: [In unison] Uhh... We finish.

[The camera zooms out to show a completed gauntlet dock]

Finn: Whoa!

Jake: Told ya so.

Finn: Come on! Let's try it out!

[Finn and Jake run through the gauntlet dock, avoiding the traps and obstacles, while Finn screams excitedly]

[At the end of the dock, Finn and Jake jump into the water]

Finn: [Laughing] Yeah! Woo!

Jake: [Laughing] Yeah! Woo! [Panting] See? If we hire them full time, they'll be back in business and we'll be able to focus on fun stuff. Everybody wins!

Finn: Maybe you're right.

Jake: [To the businessmen] You hear that, guys? Maybe I'm right!

Red-tie businessman: Really? Job? With... ad-ven-tur-ers?

Jake: Yeah, mans!

[The businessmen cheer and dance]

[The red-tie businessman throws down his briefcase and chisels "Fin [sic] & Jake Adventuring Incorporated" into the side]

[The scene changes to the Tree Fort where the businessmen are cleaning weapons, ironing socks and shining shoes]

[Jake is playing a video game on BMO]

Finn: Feels weird doing nothing.

Jake: Relax, man. This is your day off.

Hot Dog Princess: [From far in the distance] Help! Somebody help!

Finn: Trouble, dude! Get your axe! I'll get my... wha?

Red-tie businessman: Adventure pack... ready for you.

Finn: Hey, thanks man.

[The scene changes to Finn and Jake running across the Grass Lands, weapons in hand]

Finn: I have to say, Jake. My sword is totally shiny and stinkin' sharp!

Jake: Uh huh.

Finn: Even my shoes feel different. Not only are they clean, I feel radder, faster, more... adequate.

Jake: Cool!

[The businessmen are running behind Finn and Jake, writing notes]

[A battle cube is chasing Hot Dog Princess]

Hot Dog Princess: Help!

Finn: Don't cry, Hot Dog Princess! Jake and I will fend off these battle cubes!

[The businessmen sit off to the side and continue to take notes while eating donuts and drinking coffee]

[Finn and Jake begin to fight the battle cubes, which are flying around Hot Dog Princess' kingdom]

[The scene fades to a later time, where everyone is tired from fighting and Hot Dog Princess is taking a nap]

Finn: Man. I'm getting tired.

Jake: [Groan] Me too. These cubes are... frickin' resilient. Hey, business dudes! Hold off these cubes so we can catch our breath?

Finn: Jake! They don't know how to fight.

[The businessmen run over, wearing armor and wielding weapons; they begin fighting the battle cubes while Finn and Jake rest]

Red-tie businessman: [Offering bottled water and orange slices] Water. Orange slices. Help rehydrate.

[Red-tie businessman runs back into battle, shouting]

Jake: These guys are great, right?

Finn: I gotta admit... they are helping. [Surprised] Oh! I think I figured out how to defeat the battle cubes!

Jake: That's cause you had time to rest your body and refresh your brain.

Finn: [To businessmen] Ok! We'll take it from here, guys!

Jake: Yeah! Good work.

[Finn and Jake run towards the battle cubes; Jake roars and grows large]

Finn: Grab all the cubes together!

[Jake stretches his hands to become giant and clasps them together, grabbing all the cubes]

Jake: Got 'em!

[Finn grunts and jumps into Jake's hands with a rope and ties all the battle cubes together into a single, large cube]

Finn: It worked!

[Jake throws the cubes off into the distances]

Finn: Wake up, Hot Dog Princess. You're free.

Hot Dog Princess: Oh! Thank you, Finn and Jake! Especially you, Finn.

[Hot Dog Princess stands on her hind legs and puckers her lips, as if to give Finn a kiss]

[Finn rears back, disgusted]

Finn: [Whispering to Jake] Ugh. She smells like old hot dog water.

[Jake giggles and the red-tie businessman runs in between Finn and Hot Dog Princess to take the kiss instead]

Red-tie businessman: [Whispering to Finn] I take one for team.

Finn: This is awesome! You get a promotion, fella.

[Red-tie businessman cheers and dances]

businessman: Take one for team, too.

[The other businessmen begin kissing Hot Dog Princess]

[The scene changes to the Tree Fort where Finn and Jake are playing BMO]

Jake: Oh... Lost again!

Finn: [Grabbing the controller] My turn.

[Jake walks over to the businessmen, operating a large collection of wires and monitors]

Jake: What's that?

[Jake goes to the freezer and takes out a tub of ice cream]

Red-tie businessman: Hero vision monitor. Use satellite to tell us world problems.

Jake: Oh, wow. Anything going on?

Red-tie businessman: Just small things. You save stress for big thing.

Jake: Freakin' awesome, man.

Finn: What are they doing?

Jake: Takin' care of business.

[Jake eats a scoop of ice cream and Finn plays the video game]

Finn: Jake, hit me!

[Jake flings a scoop of ice cream into Finn's mouth]

[Time passes, showing more and more empty ice cream tubs stacked near Finn and Jake while both of them are getting fatter and fatter]

Video game: Mission complete.

Jake: Yeah!

[Finn and Jake get up and dance around, shaking their enormous guts]

Finn: We beat Adventure Master!

Jake: Holy moly!

Finn: We're adventure masters!

Jake: Woo! Yes!

[Finn and Jake both get tired and stop celebrating to take a breath]

Finn & Jake: [Tired] Ooo.

Finn: I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding.

Jake: Yeah. [pushing around Finn's gut] You're gut's so huge and moldable.

Finn: Hey!

Jake: Hold on a sec!

Finn: [Laughs] Man, that tickles.

[Jake manipulates Finn's gut to look like the Ice King]

Jake: [Impersonating Ice King's voice] I'm the Ice King, and I'll never find a bride because I'm such a tool.

Finn: [Laughs] Alright, let me try.

[Finn manipulates his gut to look like Princess Bubblegum]

Finn: [Impersonating Princess Bubblegum's voice] I'm Princess Bubblegum and I'm a dork, because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice that Finn thinks is attractive!

Jake: [Laughs] That's a- Hey, what'd you say?

Lumpy Space Princess: [On a hero vision monitor, running from a Swamp Giant] Ahh! Oh, my gosh! Leave me alone. All I said was "you're ugly," which is totally true. Somebody help me! Oh no!

Jake: Man, I am not in the mood for saving Lumpy Space Princess.

Finn: Hey, business dudes!

[The businessmen enter the room from various directions]

Finn: What do you guys think?

Red-tie businessman: Hmm... Just one monster. We do.

[The businessmen run off]

Jake: Right. We'll just save our strength for the big adventures, then.

[Finn and Jake sit back down on their couch and relax]

Jake: Ahh. Nice call, dude.

Finn: Imagine how awesome the adventure's going to be when it's time for us to go out there.

Jake: I'm too tired to imagine stuff, but I bet you're right.

Finn & Jake: [Both grabbing a tub of ice cream and toasting with them] To being great adventurers!

[They both begin eating ice cream; time passes and shows that they have empty tubs and ice cream all over their faces. They are even fatter, and Finn's gut is now visible outside his shirt]

[Finn and Jake both groan and waiver until they fall over]

Finn: Oh, gosh.

A voice in the distance: Help us!

Finn: Huh? Jake! Did you hear that?

Jake: Yeah. Let the businessmen handle it.

A voice in the distance: Help! Please!

Finn: I heard it again.

Jake: businessmen, dude.

A voice in the distance: Heeeeeelp!

[Finn walks over to the window and gasps, seeing the businessmen in a large robot, sucking up Fuzzy Friends into a container]

Red-tie businessman: [Through a PA system] Woo-hoo! Woo!

Finn: Jake! We messed up! The businessmen have gone bat-crazy, dude!

Jake: [Still lying on the floor] Man, just let the businessmen handle it.

Finn: THE BUSINESSMEN ARE THE PROBLEM, you lazy plug-hole!

Jake: [Opens his eyes, surprised] Huh?

Finn: [Yelling out the window] Guys!

[Finn begins to climb out the window and down to the bottom of the Tree Fort]

Finn: Guys, stop it!

Finn: [Running up to the businessmen's robot] Stop it, guys!

Red-tie businessman: Stop what, boss?

Finn: You're jacking up those Fuzzy Friends!

Red-tie businessman: But... We're being heroes. Like you, boss. We're protecting them. Collecting them in our care-sack so they cannot be hurt. It's the most efficient way to save people.

Finn: But you're making them unhappy!

Red-tie businessman: Irrelevant! These people are in our care-sack. Their happiness is not priority.

Finn: I am your boss! And you guys are all fired!

[The businessmen begin to murmur to each other]

Red-tie businessman: Fi-red?

[The businessmen shout angrily and start sucking up the Fuzzy Friends even faster than before]

[They move their robot and it crushes one of the Fuzzy Friends]

Finn: Nooo! Alright, guys. Now I've gotta take you down... Finn style.

[Finn runs over to kick their robot, and gets sucked up into the care-sack]

Finn: I'm kicking your care-sack, dudes!

Jake: Finn? Whoa... Crud.

[Jake squeezes his enormous gut out the window]

Jake: I'm comin' buddy!

[Jake flops onto the ground, still holding a tub of ice cream]

Jake: Ahh. I'm so fat, dude; I don't know what to do.

Finn: [Gasp] That's it! Jake! Demoralize them!

Jake: What? Why?

Finn: Do it, man! I have a legit plan!

Jake: Ok, Alright. [To businessmen] Hey! You guys are horrible at business!

[The businessmen lash about angrily and try to suck Jake up into their care-sack, but he's too fat to fit]

Jake: Huh? They're sucking me up, dude!

Finn: Now, eat that ice cream some more to become fatter, while also using your Stretchy Powers to grow huge!

[Jake chows down on the ice cream and starts getting bigger]

Jake: [lifting his head up for a second] Ok!

[Jake uses his Stretchy Powers as he gets pulled into the robot]

Jake: This sucks.

Finn: Yeah, dude! Keep growin'! You're breaking apart their robot!

[The robot begins to shake violently, the businessmen scream]

Jake: Oh no!

[The robot explodes and Finn, Jake and the businessmen go flying into the air]

Red-tie businessman: [Attempting to grab Finn] I'm going to kill you, not-boss!

Finn: Wait, man! Wait! I wanna re-hire you guys!

Red-tie businessman: Re-hire? Really?

Finn: Yeah, mans.

Businessmen: Woo hoo!

[As they all fall back to the ground, the businessmen and Finn grasp hands and form a five-point star]

[The scene changes to a beach, where Finn, Jake and the Fuzzy Friends are waving towards the water]

Fuzzy Friends: Yay! Hip-hip hooray! Pancakes!

[The businessmen are once again frozen in an iceberg and float back out to the middle of the lake]

Jake: So, wait... What'd you hire them to do?

Finn: I hired them to stuff themselves in that iceberg and get outta here.

Jake: [Sigh] I'm gonna miss 'em. And I'm gonna miss this gut.

[Jake uses his Stretchy Powers to return to his normal size]

Finn: [Laughs] I'm gonna miss my gut too.

[Finn strains and attempts to suck in his gut, but it doesn't disappear]

Finn: Aww! Aww...

[The camera zooms in to Finn's frowning face]

[The episode ends]