Broken Ashtray

Ashtray on my balcony
I don't think you ever really loved me
And now I feel the same way too
But is it cliché to say I still think about you?

’Cause I been thinkin' a bit about life
While cigarettes go through my lungs
Silly thoughts go through my mind
My time is running out
While I'm running around
Around stupid little thoughts
Trying to connect the dots
To lines that don’t exist
I'm going through my list
Life is changing
And I don't know if I'm ready
Life is changing
But when I notice it's gone already

Missing out on picture perfect memories
To write my pointless tragedies
About the love | never find
When | should be loving me
And I've been trying to find the words
Before they fly away like birds

I might have to write in French
Pour dire les choses comme je veux
100 jours sans que je dors
A cause des monstres dans mon placcard
I'm so scared of the dark
Je veux etre libre sans etre mort

That's why I keep the ashtray on my balcony
I know I’m still dying but at least it’s slowly
Trade anxiety for passion
Maybe a little melancholy
Will trickle through these ashes