Boy Wanted

I've just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy
No half-hearted Romeo or flirt is meant;
That's the kind I'd not employ
Though anybody interested can apply
He must know a thing or two to qualify
For instance:

He must be able to dance
He must make life a romance
I said a boy wanted
One who can smile;
Boy wanted, lovable style

He must know how to say "Yes!"
When I look at a new dress
Oh, I'll be ready when the right one calls
And I'll start vamping him until he falls;
Yes, if he proves to be the right little laddie
I'll make him glad he answered my ad

He must like musical shows
And he must wear snappy clothes
Yes, that is my story
And to it I'll stick;
No glory
In having a hick

He needn't be such a saint
But, Oh! he dassent say 'ain't.'
I don't care if his bankroll totals naught
For we can live on love and food for thought
If he's a scholar, when I see him I'll holler
My lad, I'm glad you answered my ad!'

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Original Version:

Verse:
I've just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy
No half-hearted Romeo or flirt is meant;
That's the kind I'd not employ
Though anybody interested can apply
He must know a thing to qualify
For instance:

Refrain 1:
Teddy:
He must be able to dance
He must make life a romance
I said a boy wanted
One who can smile;
Boy wanted
Lovable style
He must be tender and true
And he must know how to woo
I know we'll get acquainted mighty soon
Out in a garden 'neath a harvest moon;
And if he proves to be the right little laddie
I'll make him glad
He'll answer my ad!

Refrain 2:
Toots:
To be the boy of my choice
He needn't own a Rolls Royce
The kind of boy wanted*
Needn't have gold;
Boy wanted
Mustn't be cold
If he has oodles of charm
I'll even life on a farm
If he fits into my picture of a home
I'll be so nice he'll never have to roam.**
Yes, if he proves to be the right little laddie
I'll make him glad
He answered my ad

Refrain 3:
Babe:
He must like musical shows
And he must wear snappy clothes
Yes, that is my story
And to it I'll stick;
There's no glory
In having a hick
He must know how to say "Yes!"***
When I look at a new dress
Oh, I'll be ready when the right one calls
And I'll start vamping him until he falls;
And if he subsidises me, oh, sweet daddy!
I'll make him glad
He answered my ad!

Refrain 4:
Bunny:
The movies he must avoid
He'll know his Nietzsche and Freud
I said a boy wanted
One who knows books;
Boy wanted
Needn't have looks
He must be such a saint
But, Oh! he dassent say 'ain't.'

I don't care if his bankroll totals naught
For we can live on love and food for thought
If he's a scholar, when I see him I'll holler
'My lad, I'm glad
You answered my ad!'

*Alternative version of this line: 'The sort of boy wanted'
** Alternative version of this line: 'I'll be so nice he'll never care
To roam'
*** Alternative version of refrain 3, lines 7-8:
'And so his boots mustn't squeak;
And he must love like a sheik.'

Primrose Version:

Verse:
I've just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy
No half-hearted Romeo or flirt is meant;
That's the kind I won't employ
Though anybody interested can apply
He must know a thing to qualify
For instance:

Refrain 1:
To have a ghost of a chance
He must be able to dance
The sort of boy wanted
Must have a smile
Boy wanted
Lovable style
He must be tender and true
And if he knows what to do
I think I'll learn to love him very soon;
I'll want him morning, night and afternoon
So if you know of one who's wanting employment
Just tell him that
I'm wanting a boy!

Refrain 2:
To be the boy of my choice
He's got to own a Rolls Royce
He must be quite reckless
Buying me things:
Pearl necklace
Diamond rings
He must be ready to pay
A dozen bills ev'ry day
I'll simply smothing him with tender care
If I could find a multimillionaire
So if you could seen one dining at the Savoy-oh!
Just tell him
I'm wanting a boy!

Refrain 3:
I won't have anyone small
He must be handsome and tall
I said a boy wanted
Beautifully dressed;
Boy wanted
Trousers well pressed
He must have wonderful eyes;
He must wear wonderful ties
I want a boy who'll always look as though
He's only just come out of Savile Row
So if some Paris wants a Helen of Troy-oh!
Just tell him that
I'm wanting a boy