Boombox Apocalypse

I Live my life like everything's a bed of roses
Yet the flow's composed of bleeding ulcers with the need for closeness
Neatly woven with amnesia notions
It makes for cheap fabrication of the path I'm blazing, lacking brazen imagination
I've created a creature of habit, a combative double feature with a need for dabbin, dapper and neatly lacquered in the lap of luxury, suffering actor
Stuck but not trapped. I'm a sucker for cash
I've grown accustomed to a comfortable path
Let's make this long story short
I'm tortured and off center, short tempered and off course with moments of brilliance, hopelessly resilient
An opulent optimist who often sits on fringes while binging on some toxic shit. Boombox Apocalypse
My box equipped me with a strong work ethic
Some of my worst head trips
People skills and a need for acceptance
So you could keep the pills, I'll persevere through the fear and find confidence in a bottle
I live my life like no consequences, no tomorrows
No common sense and endless sorrow
I've had Moments of shame, been motivated by pain
Attempt to be a whole, only a hole remains
I'd give my soul in exchange for some control to maintain
I'm gonna lose it, there's mood shift's, abuse of juices, jubilence is illusive, don't give two shits I'm useless
Damaged and jaded by some standards I made it:
Big money my own place
When i look at my face
I see dysfunction and hatred
I miss the innocence of youth
Elusive images of truth
I've gotten used to the noose of insignificant pursuits
Affixiated. I need a fix of hatred
Addicted to the distance that exists in my nature
Sisyphus with a death-wish for my maker
But I can't be chasing ghosts, god damn that's a certain death
I'll embrace those who's close and make the most of what i'm working with

(Chorus)
You couldn't walk a mile in my skin
You would die within
Dialin' 911 because by burden weighs a ton
I'm certain that the sum of my parts equals a hole in my heart I try to fill with my soul
If you feel me let me know (Yo, let me know)

Now I live my like, every moment's my last
Been motivated by that since the towers collapsed
Empowered in fact by such a cowardly act
My city showered in ash
And my block reeks of smoke
For three weeks I had a runny nose and burnt throat
Missing person posters even when there's no hope
For us there's no escaping it
Can't turn off the TV when I'm tired and can't take the shit
Candle light vigils
Naked faced individuals
I'm sorry i'm straying
Let's just say I gained some perspective from all this pain
It pried my eyes open. Upon reflection, realized I was going in the wrong direction
I've always been self destructive, a selfish muthafucka
A tad bit compulsive
A vulture to those i'm close with
A legend in my own mind
Blind to the questions that define my soul's progression
Opportunity knocked, I pretend that I wasn't home
Opportunity called, I wouldn't pick up the phone
I saw it at a show and pretended I didn't know her
On some stupid shit
Not a student dick move
Which proved unusually hard headed, headed for scars, tared and feathered, fed up and marred instead of better tomorrow's

(Chorus)