Black Superman

[Verse 1]
A barrage of assaults from the woman I share a child with
Questioning me, if I’m still a man?
You may be a dad, but a father is something different
So pull your socks up and listen
And start to do what you can
Feels like I’m doing this on my own – a single mum
With a daughter who’s growing faster than the speed of light
Blink and you’ll miss it – but see the fight
And the anger from my fatigue
Breastfeeding at 3am, but you get to go home and sleep
To make matters worst we don’t wanna be friends
But if another man comes to raise your child, how would your mum feel?
How would your sisters feel? – How would your dad feel?
A bond gripped tight given that you expect to peel
And overdose on the pain that your baby feels
When her mother is now enraged
Due to lateness during your visiting times
I pivot with mine – a cynic in line
A back and forth she had to witness
Now you’re giving me signs
Not to trust you – as my doubts are getting louder everyday
I just wanna rest; watch you and your daughter play
I know it’s hard for you – but for me it’s been even harder
I’m only asking for help, while she’s asking me for a father
So I can only pray that time heals; and I forgive again
That you can really be you - no longer have to pretend
With peace at the end – and making a mends
Stop seeking council in boys – take a seat with the men
And rectify your broken character that’s defeating you
Really starting to question whatever I did see in you
But out of our disobedience came our blessing
The only L that came from this was another lesson
And I just hope you learn integrity and truth
This honest when face to face, as you seem to be in the booth
Really mean what you say, with a change coming through
Let your yes be yes, and start to listen - I want a new you

[Chorus]
They told me to cry like a man
A Clark Kent that can fly when he stands

[Verse 2]
My mother lost her father the other day
My daughter turning 33 days and what hurts the most
The fact you’ll never get to meet
You were happy when my father told you the news
Four generations deep – for one month we all lived at the same time
Great in many ways, it was you who started the legacy
Mum she spoke so highly of you
You raised a queen who gave birth to a poet - _Who is fathering greatness
Greatness will get to an age where I know she will take this
Listen back and know her great grand daddy was a general
God-fearing, very integral, an intellectual man’s man
It was all part of God’s plan
Though we kicked it like van Damme
The last time we saw would be the last time I see you till we meet again
My sister broke the news; it never made sense
But Jesus take my heart and help it make sense
Now I’m looking at the tears of a woman who I see was a daddy’s girl
This labyrinth, amazing how I’m lost In my thoughts
Three days straight, I’m still in my bed
Under the covers yet still under cover
Pretending – but not okay, still avoiding the lover_ - of my soul, so…
Bible readings and prayer is now a chore to me
My just saved days are looking pretty mature to me
Tired of the dark I now live in, reside and sit in
I’m blaming me, my predicament consequential to choices I make
Bad mistakes that have taken hold of my soul, taking me far
The stakes are higher, medium rare to be happy
With times I meet the person responsible for the dealings I deal in
So cold I’m loosing feeling for feelings
Touch myself to fall asleep, self-love to self-hate
I regret in the morning, but the moment was calling
Only time I feel like I’m wanted, But I’m feeding the problem
Appetite for deceit, not appeasing the conscience
Tinder excursions, I’m scrolling with anonymity
Secretly looking for connection but won't deliver the
Solution to a deeper matter, the issue that hinders me
I need help and I need it quickly, will He deliver me?
Bittersweet, you can forgive me – but I feel so unworthy
I see you washing, but my dirty is dirty
I feel like I’ve messed up every part of my journey
But let the word speak, I see the worst me