Black God

Look, I'm going to ask you this one more time
Please step out of the vehicle with both hands above your head
You are being charged with stealing this car for the low, low price and APR you were given
With no payments for the first twenty-four months
And we pay your closing costs and sales tax
With a three year extended warranty and five free oil changes
No credit? No problem

I'm beginning to feel like a black god, black guy
The police are bringing out all the mad dogs, bad dog
Now I'm need call my lawyer and get some tax cuts, tax cuts
Thе police getting their stick and fuck my back up

Fuck mе up, I'm in jail for doing nothing
King of the Jews, getting clapped like my dad Pac
Crucified and abused in the back lot
Accused of possession of crack rock
Now I'm living in Cell Block Six
Go ahead, step in my office
Excuse the smell of my armpits (Nutsack)
And I can't flush down my shits
'Til the shit's inspected for smuggled pills
"Yo dog, it ain't my shit"

It was this other guy that came up in here, took a dump
And there wasn't not nothing I coulda done
But I wanna find out who it was, bring him back here
To explain why he put drugs in the bowl
Then lock him up so he can't go around
Taking more dumps in people's homes and giving 'em drugs
Then I'll get justice, take a dump in his home, just to show him that it ain't right that he's white
And I'm getting hooked on phonics
Bill Cosby's passing it around, you could ask him about
Attractive women that asked for a snack
Said just take half but they ate the whole pack
They passed out and he got stabbed in the back
They charged him with enlargement and attack
Sexual charging in a ratchet
They planted the evidence into his ass

I'm beginning to feel like a black guy, black god
All my people own a pair of black socks, track socks
My hoopties blowing up and I'm screaming Aluwakbar, Akbar
When I go to heaven, that's when I hit the jackpot, jackpot
Then God'll think that I'm stealing and send me back to the earth like "Dad, fuck!"

The truth of the truth is
As a kid I would sit there and drew tits
Then they sent me to jail when I turned six
Maury tells me I'm telling the truth and I'm due to have a few kids ("You ARE the father!")
It seems that inside of my school is a cool little tunnel that leads to twenty months to life
Can you tell me where the food is? Sweet

I'm a normal black kid
Transformed through a portal fast in-
-to Super Cornrow, but then fall back down the portal to a trash bin
Then charged with violence and breaking to Oscar's house with intention to rape him
And put under suspicion of stealing Ernie's television

Put us all in chains, now we all in trains
Before all this pain we all wuz kangz
By the way, married couples that use the one same Facebook page are all like Krang
Every gay little page on Instagram is brought to you by Bang
Energy, I'm the enemy of Great Satan USA that made us slaves

Pray to Lord, send us down his favorite son, I can't take anymore
The fakest case of breaking the law since Michael allegedly dated a boy
What came of the struggle? Complacent soy boys
In the basement playing toys, masturbating Dragon Ballz
Anime, incest porn, and Cory Chase
But now I'm training them all at the base to erase all the racism they were made to embrace
My friend was killed by a drunk driver, the guy got out of his car, and shot my friend in the face

'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a black god, black guy
The police caught me jaywalking in drag top, drag tie
Threw me in the 'terrogation room and trash talk, trash talk
They brought me Kentucky Fried Chicken but I prefer from Popeye's
I go down to the record label and met with the Rabbi, and he's like

"I can't sell this fucking record, you know why Eminem's album sold so well?
He's rapping about homosexuals and Vicodin
You're yapping about fried chicken and The Fountainhead
Go fuck yourself, faggot
Get out, please don't slam it, thank you
Come back!"

Nah dude, man, I'm Kool-Aid
I'mma go be super black somewhere that I'm not called stupid
But I won't forget what you did
Took me to White Castle, didn't want no hassle
They're like "Oh, here come that one black guy that like to make himself a victim"
Can I get a couple legs of chicken with extra ketchup packets and a Newport sample?
Took one bite, and began to transform into a pissed off powerful Dark Christ
Turned the Coca-Cola into black wine
Punched myself in the nuts right
Before a lady and her seventeen kids all burst out crying
I only really wanted lunch but I
Been fucked over enough thousand years
That if my motherfucking nuts might
Bust right now, goodnight
Just playing, I'm omnipotent, I could fly
Good luck trying to charge me with a crime
I am the law and I drunk drive
Split open the ocean so coastal persons must die
They all go to hell for rejecting the love of the God
Not a god, but the one real black man chosen as the bus driver
The sea is split open, I'm driving the bus to Atlantis, you faggots are left behind

I'm with Kobe and his daughter
They came here post-mortem
Good they never saw
Coronavirus or George Floyd getting caught up
Choked up, hold up
I'm almost outta gas, can I get a quota?
Poured a soda
Down the gas tank then I ate a gram of the
Mushrooms Eminem gave that lady that made her crazy
Then I'm like "Maybe it's a dream simulation inside a Nintendo, Sega" (Sega)
Wait, is Sonic gay? (Nega)
Is Saddam Hussein okay?
Is Dr. Dre gay?
Am I gay?
I guess, maybe
Wait a minute, haha
I'm white!

Uh, sorry everyone I made mad at me, I was only trying to be funny, and I wanna get along with everyone
I'd never say the word nigga unless it was inside a longer sentence and was sandwiched in between a couple several other lyrics
And you think it was a different word but had a similar aesthetic and you couldn't even tell I said it
Wait, shit, now it says it in the subtitle
Fuck, why'd I have to say it? Now I gotta defend it
I said it just to get rid of the anger that it gives you when you hear the word said and you're less than a kettle full of melanin
Uh, I mean more not less than a kettle, 'cause less than a kettle means you look like Pence
And hence, you're a fucking racist, and you look like him and shouldn't say it
I'm not racist, but I'm a fan of racism, did I save it?

"I don't like this racist black guy, is he racist or black? I'm confused"
No one really knows, including me, but I'm getting used to be treated like a coon and a Klansman
Simulta-, too-, s-, sa-, ta-, fuck you
I'm trying to get up out of this stigmatic little box that I'm inside of but I'm only falling further into, fuck
I'm still thumping the same couple jokes that I felt was
Real funny when I twelve and real punky
Now I'm paying the bills, going to twelve-step meetings, doctor's checking me for (shit)
Cancer in the butthole, and his finger is real chubby
And now the world is different, I'm cancelled
By the same exact people that taught me that being punk is saying stuff that's
Real edgy and ugly but nowadays it turns out
Being punk is social justice or being really into Trump
Well, fuck me, I'm all by myself
It's not my fault!

I'm like Peter Pan but racist, I'm based
Fly through your window at night and wake up your inner child, I don't wanna grow up
Hey, look what you made me do, Jim Davis
Watterson, McGruder, look what you did, I'm just like you now
Hey Trey, I say gay
Don't be a boomer, Ruegger
Slim Shady, look, I could do it too dad! I'm offensive
Are you down with me now, or are you abandoning me like your dad did and acting like you never said the word faggot?
Or like some bad words are okay, but that's it? Nah
Go clean? Think not
Why be a messenger of peace when you can jihad