Black Friend

That my black friend, he a real black kid
Get your own carton, askin' me for a cig
At the food court, he has 2-3 wings
Then the cops come with Rottweilers and shoot at him
That's my black friend, he a real black pimp
He got my own car, he don't need no rig
Loan me 6 bucks, I'll pay you back quick
I'm just headin' to Ross so I could get some kicks

Wee-woo! Is that my Fido with the five-o?
Can't go out, he get the pat-down, why though?
They treat him like a dog with a E at the end
Ima bail him every time, that's my only black friend
He could dance even better than Alfonzo
He be reppin' the dashiki from the Congo
When we see a Cherokee, he says: "I forgot the key."
Pick it open with his teeth, and we ride to KFC
When we rolled by the po, he say: "Fuck that stuff!"
He run off down the block in his Crocs and cuffs
When the cops come to me, they say: "Oh, that's rough!"
Go ahead, keep this car, we'll report it lost

That my black friend, he a real fat pimp
They say he stole something, a man of conviction
Got the death chair or like 2-3 years
But with some good behaviour, he'll be out in 6
That my black friend, they shot him in his crib
Got his ass beat up by those gringo pigs
Fired 6 shots while he was peein' on chicks
Then he looked and discovered that it's me in a wig
That's my black friend, if you need a sheik
He a trained Muslim brother from the Middle East
He could fly for me into building 3
He could bike and he's fine at Commander Keen

And he smoke crack and wake up in middle of nowhere
Can't hitch a ride 'cause them truckers are so racist
When he gets back, he'll be safe in the back
Of Detroit PD protecting and serving, oh yeah
At Whole Foods, he drive a Prius
And by which, I mean he locked up at home
With a anklet recommend by the judge
He really based 'cause he can't leave his house

That my black friend, he a real Mike Vick
Got his own bunny, he don't need no Trix
With a basketball, they send him free drinks
'Cause he looks like he's Jordan, they're both black
That's my black friend, he a real black kid
His last song charted on Wendy's top 6
Double ranch sauce referencing his jizz
And the beat was sampled from Tito Jackson

Black friend, you the blackest and you know it
Ben's one black friend is Candace Owens
Let's trend 'cause we triggered the snowflakes
Get 10% off with code PWNAGE

Black friend and his name's Gary Coleman
Uh oh, what you talkin' 'bout, old man?
Rest, friend, I'll remember you always
We spend Wednesdays watchin' Soul Plane

Candace Owens? More like Candace owns the libs!
Why are we so sensitive? We grew up watching South Park!