Black Dog

Oh! Another black dog!
Back to square one, back to back I fucked it up
Uh, something I can’t pin down about your movement
You say you love me but wheres the part where you actually do it

Baked you dog treats but theres
Too much flour in the dough
Theres no power in my soul
Two hours I was in the cold
Banging on your line, waiting on your time
Watching as the sky turned to a black eye
Wishing I gave u that shiner ,watch it as it shine
The black dog near the wheelies I know that sign

I want to know that your intentions are different
I want you to say it out loud, be specific
I want to know if you just want my body
Like everybody before
Im praying to gods that I've cursed out before
Call that settling the score
You win the battle
You still won't win the war
I still don't trust you
I'm scared that you ask more about

All of the songs that I've written
I just can't talk when I'm smitten
All of these nights I've been rippin
Paper to pieces, lyrics that you'll never listen to
Even if I speak em, just to pass the time
So ask me right
How I feel about you
How I feel about us
How I treat your friend like a punching bag
But its cool cuz they're into that

They don't like me but they wanna get off
Don't even let em
Call her pathetic
I know in the end that
You'll go for them and
When I told you how I hurt
You didn't hear a word, you were typing to her
I cried on the train home
The syncopations of my palpitations all out of sync
Sinking in the pavement
Sink is full of sanguine

I keep throwing up blood
Guess my heart beats too strong
Guess I won't keep this up long
She lives across the world and
Im right here with you in this playground
Why do you flinch when I try to make out?
Did I need to know just how your friend had you facedown?
Two face, you act like you hate me when the three of us hang out

I can feel the fade out I can feel the phase out
Im an impatient soul who could wait for you till I fade out
You got me guessing every single movement like we’re playin charades now
Newtown alleys eating takeout
If you don't love me just say it now
But you dont say anything, you just play around
You've been testing the waters for a long fucking day now

Deep breath
Next day I'm okay now
Call it episode or a spiral or splitting or a breakdown
Its how you make me feel though I might make you feel the same now
'Cept I love you too much for that, don't say you love me back, I don't know what to say now

Last time I cried in a carriage
Was when that older girl did heavy damage
You know her, too, and it made me panic
I stole her skirt off the floor when I ran out
I wore it to see you
Maybe you saw a bit of her in me
I know you don't intend on hurting me
But I still bleed, I still bleed

Im trying to be your mum friend
Pinot noir and bombay
Magnet fridge your grade A’s
You’re like a kid in a rebel phase
You too rebellious
Belly is sick from jealousness
Are you poisonous or venomous
I won't stop taking bites

Nobody praise me without prompting
Nobody love me for nothing
Don't come asking if I'm alright
If you ain't do that shit common
I've been hated
I've been hated for being hated
I've been hated for lashing out, reacting, showing symptoms, immolating
I've been facing consequences of your actions ever since the day you made 'em
I've been talking, helping friends down off of ledges that I still stay on
I've been letting people know they're angels when no body said that they're satan
I've been thinking that its selfish to want a motherfucking change and
I've been fucking hating feeling like our time all just went to waste and
I've been fucking tired asking you every time how your day is
You reply couple lines, say you’re fine, glad to hear it and I say it
But then no reciprocation, no communication, no questions, no conversations
The only time you press me to talk is when you’re masturbating
Half written texts, typo filled, cuz one hand is taxi hailing
Or smoking a cig, throwing a peace sign, it certainly ain't praying
So I know god’s laughing down when I thank him that I made it
And I still fucking love you

Oh my god you fell in love

Did tasting my blood tell you that I have the heart for you?
Was wasting my love like making art for you?
Would it be blue?
Would it be black?
Would it be red?