Bitch/Dumb Ass

Well, I was minding my business
As I often do
Here she come, sniffin' around
For someone new

She was a sweet little thing
With big sad eyes
Waggin' her tail
Like she's a friend of mine

She looked kinda hungry
So I threw her a bone
And now
That bitch won't leave me alone

Well, when grandpa died
He left me the farm
I can't blame him
He didn't mean no harm

But, I came across something
I didn't expect
He was a stubborn ol' mule
Stubborn as they get

He was built like an ox
The IQ of a stone
And now
The dumb ass won't leave me alone

Well, you think you got it bad
You don't even know
I'm sneaking out the back
And she's right at the door

She's whimpering and crying
Like she don't have no sense
I chased her away
But, she keeps jumping the fence

Tell me what can I do?
Who can I phone?
That bitch won't leave me alone

Well, you ain't said nothing
Your problems are trite
You should try getting this ass out your life

'Cause he won't do nothing
But lay right here
He's got one good trick
He can open a beer

He thinks he's a stallion
But, he's no Stallone
And now
The dumb ass won't leave me alone