Bipolar

[Verse]
I'm sick of being told being myself isn't working
Like everything I do is all for no purpose
But I feel the greatness inside of me
Yeah, it's like diggin' a grave, I unearth it
I'm always at war with the past and the current
And my mental health got my brain always swirlin'
It's scary, it's kind of like I'm Tyler Durden
I'm bipolar, yeah, I carry that burden
Got highs and lows, but fine on the surface
I might explode, like, nobody's perfect
But even with all of this pain that I battle
I still find the strength, take a track and I murk it
Nobody can stop me, it's not even worth it
They try to get by me, I'm not even nervous
Got real ones beside me, the kind you can't purchase
I feel like the only one left in the circus
So unapologetically me
Outstreaming labels, could show you the stats
Let 'em read it and weep
They all tried to sign me, I've read all the offers
They'd love me deceased
I don't need the industry, grateful to everyone
Got all the fans that I need
We're 'boutta take over, been craftin' the videos
Do it, I'll still wear my heart on my sleeve
And fear on my face
Signifies how I demolished the pain
Think it's a statement 'bout COVID, its not
Where 2018 never changed
They still throwin' dirt on my name
They wanted me gone 'cause they hate how I'm sayin' the truth
I'm not like the others, stay true to myself
No, I don't gotta change to get views
They don't know the first thing about me
They always assume, so
I'ma just let 'em, they'll hate me no matter whatever I do
Whatever I do gonna last, I can't say the same about you
Most of you don't have a clue, like
They all come and go, the gimmicks get old and then
One day, nobody shows up to the shows
I've seen it, it's tragic
They really don't know how long I've been rappin'
It's been like a decade, the music is spreading
The people that doubted don't know where I'm headed
They don't understand what I've been through
Or what I might do to live out all my dreams
I've been dreading the thought of a panic attack
Got me sweating, but I gotta kill it, no matter the setting
I can't have it holding me back if I'm stressing
I just gotta dive in and do it, no treading
It's so exhausting, tryna navigate this life
'Cause everyone you see expects you to just be normal all the time
I'm not normal, one day I'm depressed and lay in bed
The next, I'm fine, it takes ten times the effort to even try
If you really knew me, you would know what I bottle
I've been
Workin' every night, 'cause I'm scared I won't drop and
I remember bad days, all the pills I was coughing up
I've had the Devil on my shoulder, yeah, he's always so ominous
Cleaned up, found God, I'm a whole new Josh
Ain't nobody is touchin' me, all the ones that look up to me
'Boutta really see a whole new level that I been on
No one is close, compared to me everybody else
Sounding so gross, I'm 'boutta make seven mill', did it all on my own
And everybody else scared, better stay on their toes
Got all these lame little rappers always sayin' the most
So when I see 'em, I'll be like, "Get off my throne"
I know I'ma do it, regardless of my mental health
It's more than the music, it's provin' myself
Whatever might happen, I know I'll excel
So, get off my throne, yeah, yeah
Yeah, get off my throne, uh, yeah