Bible

[Intro: Caddy]
Behold, my children
Caddy is on the mic

[Ollie]
Hey, wait a minute! I was gonna do the intro!

[Caddy]
Well, tough luck, babycakes. This is my video

[Ollie]
Yeah, but you always take the thunder

[Caddy]
Not my fault I'm so conductive

[Ollie]
Oh for God's sake!

[Caddy]
Okay, okay, go ahead

[Ollie]
Thank you. Caddicarus, 2K12. You ready? Let's go!

[Verse 1: Caddy]
In the beginning
God created the heavens and the earth
And in a barn a group of lowly shepherds saw the birth
Of Jesus!
My man, my brother
Wait, how was He born?
I thought He had a virgin mother

'Hark!' the herald angels sing
Behold the Lord, He's everything
Science is far too unreliable
That's why you gotta pay close attention to the
B-B-B-B-Bible!

[Verse 2: Caddy]
New Testament and Old
Every single reading is a legend to be told
Disobey the teachings and you're a failure
Can I get a Hallelujah?!

Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal
Journey forth and buy that meal deal
Bitch-ass mother, consider yourself smitten
Your soul belongs to me
Oh my God, a wittle kitten!

[Verse 3: Caddy]
The number of pages:
One thousand three hundred
I went to the library
I roared, I thundered

How many books is that?
Don't give me a tricks!
Then she looked up on her data
And she answered, "sixty-six"

Good God!
Well, I guess you can't argue
With £3.99, that is muthafuckin' value!