Beyond Recall

[Verse 1]
Every human being that I see I just avoid
Not cus I hate them or some shit, it’s cus I’m paranoid
Self-deprecation in my head it’s like a fucking void
Self-confidence down way below and I’m fucking annoyed
It’s the reason that I’m single and I have little friends
Because I’m fucking awkward all the time, really it depends
If I’m with a friend, maybe I’ll feel slightly less on end
But this constant fear and anger take the time that I spend
It didn’t use to be like this, why the fuck is it now
I never once was antisocial, but in high school, I’m endowed
With this crippling anxiety, and this self-consciousness
It’s gotten so bad that I’m afraid to talk to stop the shit
Feel like vomiting when all these people try to talk to me
I feel appalled the way I talk and try to fucking dodge debris
I’m fucking questioning my sanity, without anything answering
Don’t wanna vent about it cus I’ll feel like I’m just pandering

[Verse 2]
I wish I wasn’t like this man I wish that I was normal
It’s such a massive issue I just simply can’t ignore all
The fucking consequences that this shit has had on me
I’d rather dabble in some snap than actually fucking have a seat
And when I do I feel like everything will topple onto me
And I’ll wake up to find the remnants of what constantly is haunting me
Nobody’s probably listening, you’ve probably skipped ahead
Or maybe you’ll forget
I’m just tryna be successful, but I’m self-conscious bout my music
I hate my fucking voice, man it sounds so fucking stupid
I’ve scrapped so many songs just cus I didn’t feel the movement
When I do this all I’m shooting for it someone to consume it
I over analyze each fucking movement that I do
Which makes me think I’ll look weird if I attempt to fucking move
Which makes me even weirder to a person just like you
Who’s just watching from a distance with a different point of view