Better Off Without a Wife

[Verse 1]
All my friends are married
Every Tom and Dick and Harry
You must be strong if you're to go it alone
Here's to the bachelors and the Bowery bums
Those who feel that they're the ones
That are better off without a wife

[Chorus]
Cause I like to sleep until the crack of noon
Midnight howling at the moon
Going out when I want to
And I'm coming home when I please
Don't have to ask permission
If I wanna go out fishing
Never have to ask for the keys

[Verse 2]
I've never been no Valentino
But I had a girl who lived in Reno
Left me for a trumpet player
Well, it didn't get me down
He was wanted for assault
And though he said it weren't his fault
You know the coppers rode him right out of town

[Chorus]
I'll be sleeping until the crack of noon
Midnight howling at the moon
And I'll be going out when I want to
Coming home when I please
Don't have to ask permission
If I wanna go out fishing
Never have to ask for the keys

[Verse 3]
Yeah, you see I'm kinda selfish about my privacy
Now as long as I can be with me
We get along so well I can't even believe it
I love to chew the fat with folks
I'll be listening to all your dirty jokes
I'm so thankful for these friends I do receive

[Chorus]
I'll be sleeping until the crack of noon
Midnight howling at the moon
And I'll be going out when I want to
Coming home when I please
Don't have to ask permission
If I wanna go out fishing
Never have to ask for the keys, no

[Verse 4]
Hey, I got this girl I know, man, and I just
She's been married several times and
I don't wanna end up like her
I mean, she's been married so many times
She's got rice-marks all over her face
Yeah, you know the kind