Ben Shapiro vs Eric Cartman | Subpar Rap Battles of YouTube

[Intro: Announcer]
SUB-PAR RAP BATTLES OF YOUTUBE

BEN SHAPIRO

VERSUS

ERIC CARTMAN

BEGIN!

[Verse 1: Ben Shapiro]
Let's say, hypothetically, you and I would rap fight
Libertarian contrarian versus a piglet of the alt-right
You're not big-boned, my wife's a doctor, so I'd know
You're a fat kid fascist factless ball of dough and your mom's a ho (There's some whores in his house)
Too big for your Tike Bike, obese and it's not appealing
Worship the Reich, right? But there's truth that you're concealing
They'd say "Take a hike", psych! They'd kill you while you're kneeling
Don't step to my hyped mic, these raps don't care about your feelings

[Verse 2: Eric Cartman]
Hey! Don't call me fat, you stupid fucking Jew!
Kyle's mom's a bitch, but you're a bigger pussy, dude
You say the same shit that I do, why not lose the hat? And maybe you can join up with us too!
You play the violin? I bet you sing in tenor, man
Squealy trolling punks shouldn't cross me, go ask Tenorman
Why the hate on me? I'm not gay or a minority
My hate-speech's staying monetized, 'cause they respect authority

[Verse 3: Ben Shapiro, Eric Cartman]
Just because I'm a Jew, you think I care about your money?
You're like a liberal female comedian: always wrong and never funny
Hey! Women are funny! Especially my girlfriend
Excuse me, it's my turn, and remind me, how'd that little romance end? Right then
Why not go back to your little town and keep playing pretend
I'm a voice speaking out against the censorship oppression
From marginalized to idolized, my class is in session
Confession, I outdebate the greats, so save it, you're insane, no need to waste my time to entertain the unintelligent less than (What?)
So I'll speak for millions while you play as if you're relevant
I'd point out all your flaws, but in every room you're the fattest elephant
I don't think that we're alike: you scream nonsense, while I'm elegant
I gave your mom a wet-ass p-word, then sent her packing for the heck of it

[Verse 4: Eric Cartman, Ben Shapiro]
Don't talk about my mom, you stupid piece of shit
I beat up Satan and tamed Cthulhu a god damn game of wits
You think you'll be given a victory through a fucking lame debate?
I don't think you understand the true depth of ruthless hate
You're an unfunny retard version of that asshole Steven Crowder
You'll kneel before me and suck my balls like they were chowder
And when you think that it's over, we're just getting started, mister
Mr. Slave will bend you over while we fingerbang your sister
Actually, most jokes are specifically about her breasts
Oh my god, nobody cares, you think that we're impressed?
Your brain must be trapped in Imaginationland, because, shit
That's the only place where this loser winning could possibly exist! (Possibly exist!)

[Outro: Announcer]
WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!.. MAYBE... SOME RULES AND EXCEPTIONS MAY APPLY

SUB-PAR RAP BATTLES OF YOUTUBE