Bella Morte Girls (Monologue)

[Interlude]
Are you guys familiar with the band "Bella Morte"?
*Audience applauding*
I love Bella Morte
They're very good friends of mine
I've played dozens of shows with them
But the thing that perplexes me about them
Is that they're all really good looking guys
And they're really nice guys when they're not talking about poop and stuff
*Audience laughing*
And I- they never ever seem to get laid
And it just- it perplexes me
I realized what it is
It's not that they can't get laid
It's just that they have a really, really specific type
Which is kinda hard to find
So I've written a little song
About the kinda girls that Bella Morte is into
*Audience applauding*
And it goes something like this