Beer

[Spoken Intro]
[Chad] Grrreetings everybody
[Mark] Hey pipe down back there!
[Chad] My name is Chad, this is my right-hand man: The Markster
[Mark] Hey that's Mark to you guys!
[Chad] And we are presidents of the Alpha Pi Kappa fraternity
[Mark] Yeah! We are!
[Chad] We'd like to welcome you to rush week
Now I know you guys have a lot of questions but listen we got [????]
So check it out...

[Hook 2x]
We're HERE
It's the Alpha Pi Kappa. BEER
Yo dude, I got a keg to tap. NO QUEERS
Allowed inside of our frat house. CHEERS
Hold up your cup and fuckin' chug

[Verse One]
[Chad] Two words to describe our frat: Wicked Awesome
I mean on Thursdays we do charity midget tossin'
I'm sayin' dude, Alpha Pi Kappa knows how to party
[Mark] Aw dude, give us a keg and we'll get wicked [rappin??]
Like this one time at the sorority, we pulled a panty raid
We bought roofies and beer, dude: WE ALL GOT LAID!
[Chad] You see this white hat? It says "Co-Ed Naked Lacrosse"
Check out the curve of the brim: it's wicked awesome
[Mark] You know what else is wicked awesome? Smokin' the dope
And puttin' on "Legend" by Bob Marley, that guy fuckin' rules!
[Chad] Yeah, but speakin' of tunes dude, I love that Dave Matthews
Especially at a party when I'm bombed off my ass, dude!
[Mark] Yeah, my favorite state? I'd have to say Mass, dude
Yeah Boston is awesome, I got a Bruins tattoo
The chicks dig it, yeah and the chicks dig me
Cause Alpha Pi Kappa brothers get the most pussy!
[Chad] Now don't be offended ladies, you know we're just jokin'
Believe me, I know pain: I've had my heart broken
See I was only 16, and her name was Kirsten
We used to walk in the park and listen to Dave Matthews....
...[Mark] Yo, you're soundin' wicked queer right now
[Background chatter]
[Mark] Bro, I got a case of Bud Dry, dude, let's break out the funnel
Put the tube in your mouth, I'll pull the beer and you guzzle
[Chad] Hey, bro bro! J.B. just totally put on my song!
*JUMP AROUND! JUMP AROUND! JUMP UP, JUMP UP AND GET DOWN!*

[Hook x2]

[Spoken]
[Chad] Yeah, that's pretty much the fun part right there
But before you get in you gotta do the hard part
It's rush week bro, you gotta do some tests man
You gotta pass the test
[Mark] Let me tell these motherfuckers what's up!

[Verse Two]
[Mark] For the next seven days, you'll be treated like shit
To be an A.P.K. brother, you gotta earn it!
[Chad] We all did!
[Mark] You see all this? It doesn't come easy
[Chad] So put on these blindfolds and get on your knees
That's right ladies, rush week has officially begun
So stick this cherry up your ass and do a 50-yard run
[Mark] And if it falls out your ass, you're shit outta luck
Cause then you gotta eat that cherry! [Dude that fuckin' sucks!]
[Chad] Of course it sucks
[Mark] But you gotta have heart and be a fighter!
[Chad] So everyone take a shot of Jagermeister
And make out with the Gregmeister
I know what you're thinkin': it sounds kinda queer
[Mark] But that's something you gotta do to get up in here
[UP IN HERE, UP IN HERE, YA'LL GONNA MAKE ME SHOW MY HEAD....]
[Mark] So all you filthy pledges, here's something to get used to
For the next week you'll be wearing a tutu
And a hat that says "faggot"
And you better have it on 24/7
[Chad] Cause if you take it off for one second I'd hate to be your rectum
Now everyone gather 'round this hot pie of pizza
I want you all to jerk off and the last one to cum fuckin' eats it
[Mark] Dude you think this shit sucks? It only gets tougher
For when you do the Pi Kappa Challenge, then you'll really suffer
The Pi Kappa Challenge is fuckin' wicked important
[Chad] Dude, I mean seriously, it's like totally a tradition
[Mark] So here's the rundown of all the events in the challenge:
I'm talkin' keg-stands
[Chad] Shaved heads
[Mark] Paddles
[Chad] And tossed salads
Hours of group showers, covered in baby powder
[Mark] You gotta push it to the limit: love it, learn it and live it
[Chad] Yeah, this frat's a lot of things:
Killer, cool beans, awesome, kick-ass, killer, wicked awesome [FUCK YEAH]
[Mark] So to all you pledges I wish you good fuckin' luck
[Chad] Now guys you should really get some Zs
Cause tomorrow you're gonna fuck. All right?

[Spoken]
[Chad] And just [??] bring some condoms cause at Pi Kappa we really support safe sex
[Mark] Have a good beauty sleep, ladies

[Hook x2]