Because: Interlude

Because things started getting harder, you began to see the world for what it was, a string of challenges, obstacles, decisions, repercussions, and about 5 seconds of blissful fuzz. You felt pain, real pain, not something your parents could kiss away, not something that a Batman bandaid could cover up, you ask your father for help but he says "nut up or shut up", and so you pick the latter, duct taped your lips together cause you knew nothing you could say would matter. You thought strength was doing it alone, that asking for help meant you were weak, and you couldn't be weak anymore. You locked yourself in your room, said I don't need the world, and I sure as hell don't need you, all I need is me, but what happens when me gives up too.

Because one day you look around and everything is different, the friends you had forever have become forever distant, for some reason that you don't know but you accept cause life's a bitch and, that's the only explanation you want, cause if you face the fact that you were the one who pushed them away, that you were the one who told every person to leave just so you could see who would stay, but, no one did. If you face that fact, and if you take that blame, you don't know if you'll move on or move deeper into shame.

Because the scars of the past don't dissapear quickly, and you want to cry for help, but you think, no one will get me. No one will know what I've been through, no one could know my pain, no one could relate to me and say they've felt the same, cause you're unique, you're a soldier in your own war, but what if that same enemy is haunting some one else's core, would it be so bad to reach out and hold tight, and maybe not be so alone tonight. I understand the fear trust me, this wrenching of your guts and you tear like a kid with a sick tummy, you wanna cry for your mommy but, you could never let her in, cause if your walls come down, you may go crumbling too, and you scream in terror and question is this what it's coming to. But see, you're already there, hit rock bottom, got no tires to spare, with no chances left, as you let go of your final breath, ask yourself, was it worth it to do it alone?