Beatitudes

Don't know what to say, don't know how to pray
I differed my hope, all I do is cope
I don't got the words, sum up all the hurt
I just wanna cry, wanna be alright
Can't be weak, can't break free
On my knees
Most days, my face on the floor
Heart can't break any more from the pain of the divorce
Oh, my God, what's this for? All those treasures you stored
Hope and a purpose for me, but it feels like you left
Alone in the fight while you hide
Nail in the coffin at the funeral for uncle's suicide

Oh, my God, are you scared of these thoughts that I share?
I feel so underprеpared for the hell that's been staring mе down
I'm a clown walking through life
With my head down, I was so light
On cloud nine, felt so high
Now, now, I'm just paralyzed
I used to write songs that people played at their weddings
Now I write songs that are lame and depressing
What is this for?
Is it a test? 'Cause I'll fail more and more
I suck, fresh out of fucks
Where are you, my Lord?

I'm an idiot, read the scripture
Another medium, see it different
Blessed are the meek and those who thirst
Blessed are the poor and the hearts that hurt
Blessed are the ones in bed, can't get out their head
On their knees upset 'cause they can't catch a break
Don't know how to pray
Down at rock bottom living in a pig sty almost every night
Might wanna die, nothing left to cry
Just trying to survive, that was me terrified
I see now that life had to prove
Like roses are red and violets blue
I don't know what I would do without you