Bastard

[Intro]
(The Heroz)
(Lako, you a fool for this shit)
(Red Jon)
(HeartBeatz on the track)

[Chorus]
My heart colder than Alaska
Living life without a father, shit was hard, I never knew I'd be a bastard
In love with the streets, shit, I ain't wanna leave, ain't never knew I'd be a rapper
Fell in love with music, I used to distribute, I'm supposed to be a trapper
Look me in my eyes, tell me what you see
Pain, this shit run deep
I swear, I'm so tired of this shit 'til I'm weak
I ain't been able to sleep
I've been so paranoid, this shit creep
I just been praying the Lord give me peace
I gotta keep a rod close to me
Sometimes it just be hard just to eat

[Verse]
They don't wanna see me win
It's hard to keep some friends
I'm tryna keep my mind focused, I'm tryna find peace again
I lay down with one of my eyes open, the reaper been pulling me in
Lord, forgive me for all of my sins
Lord, forgive me for all of my sins
Momma know I'm living reckless, she sent me a message like "Son, be safe"
Going back and forth to court, I've been stressing, thank God, I won the case
In the boxing ring, it's just me and depression, I'm fighting this shit everyday
All these demons won't leave me alone, think it's better if I be alone
I know 12 wanna throw me in jail, I've been walking a straight line
In my cell, I was stuck with no bail, living life through FaceTime
Thought you fucked with me, but I can't tell, all you did was waste time
I'm exhausted
They tend to fuck over me often
Every time I get up, I keep falling
What you mean? Bitch, you know I'm still balling
Get the green, like I played up in Boston
Walk through the storm and it rained on me
Kept it real through it all and they changed on me
But don't know why they always put the blame on me
Still rode for them until my tank was on E

[Chorus]
My heart colder than Alaska
Living life without a father, shit was hard, I never knew I'd be a bastard
In love with the streets, shit, I ain't wanna leave, ain't never knew I'd be a rapper
Fell in love with music, I used to distribute, I'm supposed to be a trapper
Look me in my eyes, tell me what you see
Pain, this shit run deep
I swear, I'm so tired of this shit 'til I'm weak
I ain't been able to sleep
I've been so paranoid, this shit creep
I just been praying the Lord give me peace
I gotta keep a rod close to me
Sometimes it just be hard just to eat