Barbie

Words and music by Nance Petit, Freddy Bradburn

She was the secret daughter of Marilyn Monroe
You could guess the father if you don't know
Joan Crawford adopted and called her Baby Jane
But we all knew her by a different name

Chorus:
Barbie, the untold story
Just remember, you heard it first from me
Barbie, the untold story
Tell you the truth for a phenomenal fee

Just when family tensions were at their worst
She met her best friend Ms. Patty Hearst
They found a higher power over at Betty Ford's
It was a vibrator on a ouija board

Chorus

She studied theatre at UCLA
And dated OJ once, I'm sorry to say
But then came Ken to star in her play
She was shattered to learn that he was gay

Chorus

Made a career leading cheers for the LA Lakers
Then became the main mistress of the Reverend Jim Baker
Helped him hear his messages from the lord
With a vibrator and a ouija board