Band Geeks

[ELLIOTT]
Time to polish my tuba

[LAURA]
Bring my flute back out of the case

[ELLIOTT]
We’ve gotta copy the drill parts
Divide up the horn parts

[LAURA]
And paint all the hash marks in the proper place

[ELLIOTT]
I don’t know if I’m ready
Only minutes till the band arrives

[LAURA]
There’s nothing to fear
We’re seniors this year

[ELLIOTT]
I think I’m starting to break out in hives!

[ELLIOT & LAURA]
The summer is gone and suddenly we begin

[ELLIOTT]
On the practice field
It’s a hundred degrees, easily

[LAURA]
Now it’s time to fall into line with these—

[ELLIOTT & LAURA]
Ba-a-a-a-and geeks!
Band geeks!

[ELLIOTT]
No one else understands

[ELLIOTT & LAURA]
Ba-a-a-a-and geeks!
Band geeks!

[ELLIOTT]
Our horns were made in Japan!

[ELLIOTT & LAURA]
We were born to play
And band camp starts today!

[ALL]
Ba ba ba ba ba ba (ba ba ba)
Doo doo doo doo doo doo!

[MR. HORNSBY, spoken]
Laura! Why don’t you go ahead and call the roll?

[LAURA, spoken]
Oh, no! I mean— shouldn’t we let the captain do that?

[MR. HORNSBY, spoken]
Well, sure. Elliott, wanna do the honors?

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
Alright then. Laura Jane Kirk!

[LAURA, spoken]
Here! You’re doing great!

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
Thanks! Molly Weiderman

[MOLLY, spoken]
Here

[NICOLE, spoken]
On your way to a funeral?

[MOLLY, spoken]
I’m in mourning for my life

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
Uh, Nicole Murray?

[NICOLE, spoken]
Go Beavers!

[ALVIN, spoken]
Girl, I love that Notre Dame ribbon!

[NICOLE, spoken]
Don’t touch it, it took me twelve tries to get it right this morning!

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
Alvin Freeman

[ALVIN, spoken]
Present!

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
Spitz!

[SPITZ, spoken]
Trumpets rule!

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
Kyle!

[KYLE, spoken]
Elliott, it’s Gonith!

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
I am not calling you by your Dungeons & Dragons name. Next up, uh… oh. Bear with me now, Natalia Vo… Vo—Vo—

[NATALIA, spoken]
Vosevich

[MR. HORNSBY, spoken]
You’re the exchange student! From—

[NATALIA, spoken]
Braslovia. Am premium trumpet player in National Youth Orchestra

[SPITZ, spoken]
Is she serious?

[NATALIA, spoken]
As Lenin’s tomb

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
Okay, then. Color guard! Drum line? Alright, everyone. Basics block! Let’s go

[SPITZ]
Back to being a band geek

[KYLE]
It’s a stigma you just can’t remove

[STEWARD]
It’s not a gift, but a curse

[MOLLY]
Like a leper, but worse

[ALVIN]
With a grim prognosis that’ll never improve

[NICOLE]
When you’re a band geek, the cheerleaders think
You’re just a little too intense for the crew

[LAURA]
Still, you wait in the stands
With a flute in your hands

[BAND]
To play the fight song till your face turns blue!

[MOLLY & KYLE, (BAND)]
They say “you’re super freaky weird” (Super freaky weird!)

[ALVIN & STEWARD, (BAND)]
But you take all your lumps on the chin (Take all your lumps on the chin)

[BAND]
Again and again and again and again
When you’re ba-a-a-a-and geeks!
Band geeks!

[STEWARD]
Tripping over our feet!

[BAND]
Ba-a-a-a-and geeks!
Band geeks!

[ALVIN]
Not too proud to retreat!

[SPITZ]
‘Cause when you are under attack—

[NATALIA, spoken]
This is war zone?

[KYLE]
And you wish you had tried out for track

[ALVIN, spoken]
Yeah, good luck!

[BAND]
No use fighting back
You’re a band geek!

[ELLIOTT]
I wish, just once
That we could play
To thunderous applause

[MOLLY]
I wish that I could disappear

[NICOLE]
I wish I had fewer flaws

[SPITZ]
I wanna get past first base

[STEWARD]
I wanna not get hit every day

[BAND]
I wish, for once
They saw more than a freak out on display
It’s like it’s written in our DNA!

[JAKE]
Nine seasons of football
I’ve waited for this year
Senior all-star Jake
Then one little mistake
And bam!
It’s the end of your high school career
They said that I had promise
Maybe a scholarship that I could win
Okay, I admit
I lashed out a bit
Now I can never play football again

I can’t believe they’re throwing me in
With the marching band
Whatever, I just gotta pass!
I’m gonna hate every minute
I sit in the class with those—

[ALL]
Ba-a-a-a-and geeks!

[STEWARD]
We’re highly disregarded

[ALL]
Ba-a-a-a-and geeks!
Band geeks!

[MR. HORNSBY]
Are you ready to get started?

[(MR. HORNSBY) ALL]
(Band!) Ba-a-a-a-and geeks!
Band geeks!

[ELLIOTT]
I’m gonna get some respect!

[ALL]
Ba-a-a-a-and geeks!
Band geeks!

[JAKE]
Is it too late to object?

[LAURA]
Can we get it together?
Can we break from the status quo?

[BAND]
Forward march and away we go!

[ALL]
Another season
Another season (Another season)
Another season!
Suck it up and go!

[BAND]
Check and hit!