Bad Habits

[Intro]
I got bad habits
Lord forgive me

[Verse 1]
I don’t call my friends back when I should, if I ain’t actually good
I’m hardly ever going back to my hood
But I be all around this country so I actually could
And in my mind I feel the visiting don’t matter till my salary’s good

I naturally would, I witnessed a catastrophe
Through adolescent apathy that rattled me good
And charged batteries, pray for my niggas that caught batteries
And scars, I saw atrophy, and ran from my dirt

Now I get buried in my work and put my worth into this music
But I’m hurting knowing if this thing don’t work then ima lose it
I’m so fucked up in my head it got me cursing just to prove it
And I hardly healed from partners getting murdered

But I use it as fuel to give me the heart
To go harder with how I do this
In thе dark I say I’m useless, that’s the part that’s so confusing
Causе I’m awful tryna separate my art from this illusion (disillusion)
At least you know me now
Just hold me down

[Hook 1]
I got bad habits, I got bad habits
If I ever spoke my truth, you’d probably laugh at it
I wanna spill it in the booth, but I been haphazard
It's hard to look into my future when the past matters

Bad habits, Lord knows I got bad habits
If I ever spoke my truth, you’d probably laugh at it
I wanna spill it in the booth, but I been haphazard
It's hard to look into my future when the past matters

[Verse 2]
I don’t even know how love feels
All I know is having lust is getting unreal, I struggle to build
With anybody getting comfortable with trusting me still
Just to reveal that they give up and they don’t want me for real

So having company it troubles me still, cause I don’t wanna chill
I’d rather shut down to the world and study Uncle Phil
I wanna heal but I still use pussy to cope
But I’m too open if I tell you what it took me to grow
You know

I know a couple niggas wifeys tryna be my nightly
And she excite me for the week, but she don’t even like me
She see the psyche, let me beat, and then proceed to spite me
And we don’t speak, but when I’m weak I let her reignite me

Now lemme air it out, it’s some things I say I never cared about
Like falling in love and taking the marriage route
Yea I want a family, but dammit I couldn’t plan it out
My standards say I wanted companionship if you hear me out
Doubt

I ain’t seen my therapist in years, cause I’m aware of what I fear
And I’m too careful to be clear
I be scared to let you near, because you there and then you here
And me stamping a career is doing damage every year

I swear, the way I ran to that rum and Coke was a fucking joke
Just to show up on the gram and post another quote
About hoping and trusting growth
Feel like a nigga lying under oath
If I make it I’ll cut it close

[Hook 2]
I got bad habits, I got bad habits
If I ever spoke my truth, you’d probably laugh at it
I wanna spill it in the booth, but I been haphazard
It's hard to look into my future when the past matters

Bad habits, Lord knows I got bad habits
If I ever spoke my truth, you’d probably laugh at it
I wanna spill it in the booth, but I been haphazard
It's hard to look into my future when the past matters