Bad, Bad Dreams

As I lie beside you trying not to make a noise
My crackerjack heart's all wound up like a toy
It's these torrid thoughts
They keep stirring up my loins..
Like a dirty little boy, I gotta see a priest
I godda go to confession. I'm gonna call the police-
I'm gonna do a bad thing
Don't tell my mama, don't tell my papa
Baby, I've been dreamin' bad, bad dreams

I wanna pledge my "allegiancy"
But I'm a ferocious human beast
With carnal instincts
Still, I'm a standup guy to every
Gal I meet-all those pretty girls in heat-
I godda see a priest. I godda go to confession
I'm gonna call the police-I'm gonna do a bad thing
Don't tell my mama, don't tell my papa
Baby, I've been dreamin' bad, bad dreams

This sick, old man once shared his philosophy:
Guys imagine having sex with
Every girl they see. Ever since
I've tried to debunk this myth;
It's the curse of Dionysus
These dreams I have, no girl is left unturned
Your best friend, your sister
Your 8th grade picture-
It's enough to want to lop the thing right off...

So help me god, I gotta see a priest
I gotta see a priest
I godda go to confession. I'm gonna call the police
I'm gonna do a bad thing
Don't tell my mama, don't tell my papa
Baby, I've been dreamin' bad, bad dreams