Back to the Barn

[Open Int. Beach House]

(Peridot is seen about to give a presentation to the Gems.)

PERIDOT: Ahem, ahem. As it seems I have no other options, I have conceded to reveal some important information to you Crystal Gems.

(Peridot snaps her fingers, cuing Steven to shuffle in, wearing a box with a crudely drawn picture of Earth on it. Peridot, using a flyswatter as a pointer, smacks the box.)

PERIDOT: This-!

STEVEN: teeters in surprise Woah!

PERIDOT: ... Is the Earth. At the very center of the planet's core lies... the Cluster! Rotate.

(Steven complies, turning the box to show a representation of the Earth's core and the Cluster inside.)

PERIDOT: points at the illustration* This is the Cluster. A massive, artificial fusion composed of millions of Gem shards. It has laid dormant for thousands of years within this planet's crust. When this Gem activates and takes its form, the result will be catastrophic. Now! *hits the box again

(Steven turns back to the Earth picture and bobs up and down, making escalating noises. A green snake-like puppet then bursts through the box, and the Gems gasps.)

STEVEN: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

PERIDOT: What is that!?

STEVEN: speaks with the puppet It's the Cluster.

(Peridot swats the puppet with the flyswatter.)

PERIDOT: It does not look like that. But it is real, and it can activate at any moment!

STEVEN: hushed tone Bwaaaah.

AMETHYST: sarcastically What a cluster.

GARNET: That abomination must be stopped.

PEARL: But how? We'll need to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth, it'll have to-

PERIDOT: suddenly swats at Pearl and interrupts her Hey! I wasn't finished speaking! What we need is to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth.

(Pearl starts glaring at Peridot in annoyance. Amethyst looks at Pearl and smiles sarcastically. Pearl then glares at Amethyst, causing her to stop.)

PERIDOT: It'll need to withstand up to 360 gigapascals of pressure and temperatures of 9800 degrees.

PEARL: Well, we mustn't waste time. We need to start finding parts for this machine immediately.

PERIDOT: Yes. Obviously. We'll start by dismantling all devices inside this dwelling.

STEVEN: Wha?

(Peridot runs to the kitchen and grabs the microwave.)

PERIDOT: This primitive radiation concentrator should come in handy!

(Peridot tears the microwave off the cupboard and throws it on the counter. She then grabs a corded phone from the living room.)

PERIDOT: This primitive vibration transmitter could possibly serve a function!

(Peridot smashes the dials on the table, splitting it in half. She then runs up to Steven's room and lifts up the television.)

PERIDOT: There's a remote chance something useful could be inside this primitive image cube!

(Peridot smashes the TV on the floor.)

STEVEN: Wait! runs up to Peridot I have a better idea that doesn't involve destroying the house!

AMETHYST: Classic Steven.

[Trans. Ext. the Barn]

(Steven brings Pearl and Peridot to the barn, and Peridot inspects it form the outside.)

PEARL: All right. What we have here in the barn should be adequate enough for us to get started. First, I recommend we organize the component types and assemble a rough blueprint based off what we have available.

(Steven spins on a swivel chair, with a smile on his face, in front of a chalkboard with a cartoony drawing of a spaceship-like drill. Pearl then takes a look at Steven's drawing.)

PEARL: Ugh... sorry, Steven, it's a lovely drawing but it won't look like this.

(Steven stops spinning, now frowning. Peridot picks up a piece of chalk, examines it and hands it to Pearl.)

PERIDOT: Hmm. Good, yes, this is adequate. Thank you. You can go now.

PEARL: exchanges looks with Steven Uh, what?

PERIDOT: Hm? Umm.. That will be all?

(Peridot claps her hands in command. Pearl continues to stand there, looking incredulously at Peridot.)

PERIDOT: whispers to Steven How do you get her to leave?

PEARL: Excuse me, I am not leaving.

STEVEN: Yeah! She's gotta stay here to help us build the drill thing, right?

PERIDOT: chuckles slightly No, no. You're confused. A Pearl can't build a thing like this.

STEVEN: Why not?

PERIDOT: Because Pearls aren't for this! They're for standing around, and looking nice, and holding your stuff for you... right?

PEARL: That's enough! If we're going to work together, you're going to have to listen to me.

PERIDOT: Listen to you? laughs* *to Steven Did you teach her to talk like this? (Pearl looks at Peridot angrily.)

STEVEN: What are you talking about?

PERIDOT: She's a Pearl. She's a made-to-order servant just like the hundreds of other Pearls being flaunted around back on Homeworld.

STEVEN: Wait... there's hundreds of Pearls!?

PEARL: blushes Well, yes, bu-

PERIDOT: inspecting Pearl's sash And she looks like a fancy one, too.

STEVEN: whispering to himself, trying to grasp the number Hundreds of Pearls...

PERIDOT: So, who do you belong to anyway?

PEARL: NOBODY! snatches the sash out of Peridot's hands

PERIDOT: Then... what are you for?

(Pearl recoils back.)

PERIDOT: Well, you can belong to me for now. Ha! A Peridot with a Pearl, what would they say back home?

PEARL: Now listen here, you tiny twerp! In case you've forgotten, you're on our turf now! And I didn't fight a thousand-year war for this planet's independence to take orders from the likes of you!

PERIDOT: Excuse me? I am a natural technician and a certified Kindergartener. I was made for this! You were made to take orders, not to give them!

STEVEN: Woah, woah, hang on guys! Now, we can all agree that you are both good at building things, so can't you just try listening to each other?

PEARL & PERIDOT: No!

PEARL: I'm as good at building things as you. Better, even!

PERIDOT: Hah! Name one thing you can engineer better! Go on!

STEVEN: whispers Robots.

PEARL & PERIDOT: Hmm?

STEVEN: You should build robots. Giant robots! I see a race. A giant robo-race! With prizes! Giant robo-prizes!

PEARL: You mean like a competition?

STEVEN: Yeah! To see who's better at building stuff!

PERIDOT: What are these "robots" you speak of?

STEVEN: They're like those funky marble guys you were sending! Only bigger, and you can ride them! imitates robot noises

PERIDOT: Hah, building one of these robots will be easy!

PEARL: Well, I can build one faster! runs into the barn

PERIDOT: That's what you think! follows suit

(Pearl and Peridot begin to build their respective robots while Steven watches in awe. Garnet and Amethyst then arrive at the barn.)

AMETHYST: Yo Steven, how are the wonder nerds doing- Woah! Wh-what's going on? Are they building the drill?

STEVEN: whispers No. We're building robots now.

(The power tools start making loud noises, causing Amethyst and Steven to cover their ears.)

AMETHYST: What'd you say!?

STEVEN: I SAID-!

(Suddenly, Pearl, donning her space suit, rides out of the barn in her robot, showing off its mobility.)

STEVEN: GIANT ROBOT!

PERIDOT: Hah! Pathetic. (Peridot marches out in her own robot.) Now, behold, my vision of ultimate power!

(Peridot laughs as she shows off her robot's claws. She then notices the height of Pearl's robot, compared to hers, and gasps.)

PERIDOT: Hey!

PEARL: Mine's taller. I win.

[Time Skip]

STEVEN: Ladies and gentle-Gems, welcome to the first annual Robolympics!

GARNET: clapping Woo!

AMETHYST: chewing on popcorn Popcorn!

STEVEN: This competition will test our robo-engineers' skills of robo-construction and robo-piloting. Whoever wins will get to be in charge of building the Cluster-drill-machine-thing. Let the games begin!

(Pearl and Peridot begin competing, while Steven tallies on the chalkboard, and Amethyst and Garnet spectate. Various aspects of their machines are put to the test, such as balance, crushing, jumping, speed, and some other non-sequitur categories such as ballet, art, and rock-paper-scissors. Other competitions include jumping jacks, tug-of-war, and projectile strength. Antics ensue, such as when the two robots crash into a tree during the speed competition, to which Amethyst rejoices in excitement. Steven also chooses to declare the art competition inconclusive as it is subjective. Ultimately, the two tie in terms of points, leading to a final round at early evening, involving the tossing of trucks.)

STEVEN: Alright guys, this is the final event!

AMETHYST: You got this, P!

GARNET: Get it, girl!

(Pearl looks on in determination from the support, while Peridot frowns at her.)

STEVEN: raises his hand Ready, set, CHUCK!

(Both robots grab their respective trucks and toss them far into the yonder. Both trucks disappear over the horizon, giving no clear indication of whose flew farther.)

STEVEN, GARNET, & AMETHYST: Woah. (Steven and Amethyst look and shrug at each other.)

STEVEN: You both get a point on that one.

(The group return back to the chalkboard to decide the winner.)

STEVEN: Hmm, hmm. Looks like our final score is... a tie! Welp, that settles it. You both get to lead the project together!

PERIDOT: No! This isn't over! I demand we have a tiebreaker!

PEARL: Ugh, let's just give it a rest! That's it, we tied, we're the same, let's move on.

(Pearl begins to pilot her robot away, but Peridot grabs on with her robot's claws.)

PERIDOT: No! You're a Pearl! You are beneath me! I'll always be better than you and nothing I've seen today will ever change that!

PEARL: Well, have you ever seen a Pearl do this!?

(Pearl's robot then kicks Peridot's robot backwards, causing it to land on its back. Steven, Garnet, and Amethyst audibly gasp, with Amethyst dropping her popcorn.)

PERIDOT: So, you want to fight!? snaps her robot's claws Good. We should've done this from the beginning!

(Peridot's robot tackles into Pearl's robot. The two lock hands and start wrestling each other.)

STEVEN: STOP! Giant robots shouldn't fight!

AMETHYST: Fight, fight, fight, fight!

(Peridot, laughing, has her robot toss Pearl's robot towards Steven, Garnet, and Amethyst, who quickly jump away as Pearl's robot crash-lands onto the ground, knocking away the chalkboard.)

STEVEN: Pearl!

PEARL: It's alright, guys! I've got this.

STEVEN: Be careful!

AMETHYST: Kick her in the butt!

(Peridot's robot is about to slam its claw atop Pearl's robot, but Pearl pilots it around and block it. The two robots then lock hands again.)

PERIDOT: This is pointless! There's no way you're gonna beat me! You're an accessory! Somebody's shiny toy! Where do you get off acting like your own Gem?! (Peridot's robot rips one of the arms off of Pearl's robot.) You're just a PEARL!

(Pearl grimaces, but her expression becomes determined.)

PEARL: That's right! I am a Pearl! physically punches Peridot in the face

(Steven, Garnet, and Amethyst all gasp in surprise.)

AMETHYST: WOOO-HOOOO!

(Peridot's robot takes a few steps back while Pearl's robot gets up.)

PEARL: What you're saying may be true, but it doesn't matter! (Pearl's robot jumps up.) I'm still gonna kick your butt!

AMETHYST: Ohohohoh!

(Pearl's robot descends towards Peridot's robot with a kick. Peridot's robot, however, catches Pearl's robot's leg with one of its claws, and Peridot snickers in delight.)

PEARL: Uh-oh.

(Peridot's robot proceeds to slam Pearl's robot on the ground repeatedly. Steven, Garnet, and Amethyst grimace with each impact. Pearl lies knocked out in a crater, along with her beat-up robot.)

STEVEN, GARNET, & AMETHYST: Pearl!

PEARL: Ugh...

PERIDOT: laughs and gets off the robot Victory is mine! Now I'm the one in charge! Praise me, praise me!

STEVEN: Pearl, are you okay?

(Steven helps Pearl up.)

PEARL: Ah, I'm alright.

AMETHYST: YEAH, P! rushes in and gives Pearl a hug* Aww, that was awesome! You were hardcore! *punches Pearl in the arm

PEARL: rubs her arm Oh... really?

GARNET: pets Pearl Oh yeah.

PERIDOT: Hey! Why aren't you listening to me!? I won! I'm the natural leader here! She's just a common Pearl!

STEVEN: You're wrong! If Pearls are really like you say they are, then Pearl isn't common at all!

(Garnet and Amethyst smile at Steven's remark.)

STEVEN: She trained herself to fight! She learned how to build things! And she works hard every day to be greater than she already is! That's not common; that's amazing!

(Pearl blushes and smiles as well. The group stands in a calm silence for a brief moment.)

GARNET: Come on, let's clean up this mess.

AMETHYST: Pearl, hah, you should come wrestling with me.

PEARL: Uh... I dunno...

PERIDOT: B-b-but I won! What about the rules!?

GARNET: Welcome to Earth.

(Peridot stands incredulously, looking down as her swollen cheek from Pearl's punch. Time passes by, Garnet, Amethyst and Steven all help to retrieve the broken parts of Pearl's robot and put them back in the barn. Steven looks on as Peridot approaches Pearl, carrying a power drill.)

PERIDOT: clears her throat* I have to admit, it's... remarkable that a Pearl such as yourself could become such a... knowledgeable technician. Mmm... *holds up the power drill the wrong way Why don't we get started?

PEARL: takes the power drill* You're holding it upside down. *hands the drill back

PERIDOT: blushes Y-yes. Of course. Y'know, those round appendages on your machine could be useful for something.

PEARL: They're called "wheels".

STEVEN: sighs Looks like we're well on our way to stopping the Cluster.

STEVEN (CLUSTER PUPPET): holds up the cluster puppet You think you can stop me?

(Steven screams as he grabs himself with the puppet, making fake devouring sounds.)

STEVEN: Ah, we're doomed!

(The star iris closes on the puppet, ending the episode.)

[END]