Average Guy

[Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models
I’m just your average guy
I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger
I’m just your average guy. [Hook]

Guess it’s time to make an intro
Bet you thought a rapper would have pulled up in a limo
Nope can’t even afford to tint the windows
Oldsmobile fool, feeling like a pimp, though
See my salary’s average
I’ve got to fans or fanatics and I don’t have any classics
But why you rappers gotta laugh at me damn it
I’ve got tour bus too, Calgary transit
Eating sushi with cuties and making movies
Got doobies and tons of booze for the groupies in my Jacuzzi
Yeah right! I’m sitting alone in my house
Never go out I spend my time just sitting at home on the couch
‘Cause I’m afraid of going out in public places
Plus I catch a cold every time I leave my basement
Been at the back since I came in this game
Might have been rapping for years but I’ve got no real fame

[Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models
I’m just your average guy
I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger
I’m just your average guy. [Hook]

When I go on double dates I’m the fifth wheel
Sit at a table alone eating a kid’s meal
And I don’t plan to learn how being rich feels
I make Jon Lajoie look like a big deal
They’ve got fame but I tell ‘em so what
You got a big name now you think you’re so tough
I never get paid and I never get laid
When I’m rocking on stage no one ever shows up
Think I’m ‘bout to sell a bunch of records fat chance
Guess I should’ve come up with a better plan, damn
Women never tell me that they’re cheddar fans man
After concerts I just shake a bunch of sweaty man hands
I don’t wear any designer lines
Hell, I’ve been wearing the same clothes since I was like 12
Guess there really isn’t much to enjoy man
I always knew I should’ve joined a boy band

[Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models
I’m just your average guy
I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger
I’m just your average guy. [Hook]