Autocomplete

I spend hours at a time signed online at a coffee shop
That's fine but I have to buy something or they make me stop
So every twenty minutes there's a drink with caffeine in it
And I'm so hyped up that I can type 300 words a minute
The problem is of course that I can't control my hands
So I'm typing random things that no one can understand
But when I read this paragraph I just need to laugh
Because I won NaNoWriMo in an hour and a half
Then while I tried to think of something witty to say
I went to Google one day and typed in the letter J
I was thrilled when it filled in all the rest for me
You see 'cause obviously they know what's best for me
I was excited to try out and see what this feature does
But I also wondered what this kind of sorcery was
I've seen software that could do amazing things in my time
But I've never seen a program that could read my mind

Chorus
Auto-complete! Auto-immune!
Auto-bot! Auto-tune!
Auto-mobile! Auto-mation!
Auto-erotic asphyxiation!

(spoken bit)

Things online used to be so hard to find
You had to type in all your searches one letter at a time
We had to find a better way because I didn't have all day
And where did they hide the letter Y key anyway?
Now I can't express to you how much things are better
I feel like it's Wheel Of Fortune, time to pick a letter!
I put in words at random or sometimes I even planned 'em
Either way today I'm starting up my newest nerdy fandom
I'm thinking we should have a convention once a year
To discuss the newest autocompletes that may appear
And we can stay up all night as the nerds have a fight
Over who was the better captain, Piccolo or Kite
And we'll sit in filk circles, and sing our favorite songs
With auto completed lyrics so they all come out wrong
And we'll take every chance to make up new nerdy rants
And I can cosplay as Frodo from the Lord of the Dance

(chorus)

(spoken bit)

They say your soul mate is the one who understands you
The one who takes control of your soul and freakin' brands you
I've searched all around, I finally found it and I flipped
Turns out the one who knows me best is a chunk of javascript
Sometimes it makes me nervous though, I have to say
'Cause Google knows more about me than the NSA
I love it though, I don't want to sound like I'm griping
'Cause really who has time to do all of that typing?
I don't have a chance to answer all of my fans
It's too much wear and tear on my finely manicured hands
So now I let it fill in when I type the letter K
And in fact that's exactly what I wanted to say
So thank you to whoever wrote the ESP routine
How did you know I was looking for that Golden Girls scene?
You've provided me with countless random internet fun
But now I gotta go because I don't have anything done

(chorus)

(spoken bit)