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“Athlete Cured” is a darkly humorous narrative song written by Mark E Smith that explores the origins of a “German athletic star’s” mysterious illness. It takes its central riff from Spinal Tap’s “Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXHmWXPwol0
Look under
Look under
From the hotbed of creation
In dreamstate
The cure, bulletin, zeitung
Was in no pill
Look under
The cure was in no pill
The German athletic star was continually ill
For months doctors were puzzled
The star would complain of the smell in his room
On visiting him this was found to be true
An odor resembling hot-dogs permeated the whole bedroom
A solution was only discovered by my closely
Watching his brother Gert
Gert was handsome, well-meaning, but slightly a careless type
Not malicious, I hope you understand and grasp
No chance
But on returning from his clerical job, Gert
Would park his Volkswagen at the end of the day
Willy-nilly in the driveway, usually the wrong way round
So that the exhaust fumes would flow upwards right through
The open windows of the athletic star's upstairs bedroom
(carburettor)
I also discovered that Gert would turn his engine
Over for up to an hour. I don't know why
Citizens in my street are also
Partial to this
Look under
The cure was in no pill
Obtaining a new parking space for Gert's motor-car, athletic star soon
Recovered
Unfortunately, this being East Germany
Gert patriotically volunteered to be sent on a labor
Beautification course of the countryside north-west of Dresden
And never seen again
And never seen again
Look under
The cure was in no pill
Had to look under the window sill
The window sill
Look under
The cure was in no pill
Had to look under the window sill
The window sill
From certain facts you have to go on and further
And often it is better to go around or look under
The windowsill
Etc..
Etc..
Athlete Cured was written by Mark E. Smith.
Athlete Cured was produced by Simon Rogers.
The Fall released Athlete Cured on Mon Feb 29 1988.