​asphalt

I hope when you think of me
Years from now
You feel nothing
I still remember
What you said to me when I was fifteen
Screaming about killing myself on my bedroom floor

I hope you understand
I still doubt myself
About things you have no idea happened to me
You never fucking knew me
And I never fucking knew you
And sometimes I see your face in people I love and I hate you

People say "no matter where you go, there you are"
As if it's fucking true
Eight words that I tried to kill with the weakness
Of my emaciated body as I cursed this town from the asphalt

The sky in this place looks familiar and I'm so scared
I woke up here again and I memorize the sky and the trees
And the asphalt and I'm dying
Just kill me already and bury my soul in the asphalt

If I could feel safe with you
Maybe I'd have changed
I just want to be [?], but
I just keep fucking dying

Do you remember?
What the solution to all of my problems was
As you spoke it
You did not know what to do with me
"Don't say that"
"Don't think bad thoughts"
Did you know the name of what you were inflicting?
Speak truth to me
Lock eyes with me
Have you ever let yourself feel anything?!

I wasn't lying
I'm so fucking sincere
[?] fucking speak
[?]

Okay