Arnie’s Letter (My Wife Ran Off with a Juke Box)

Lee, I'm gonna write another letter

Dear Mr. President
For millions of years, guys like me have gone off to hunt or to wars
Worrying about his woman back home
Then, true love grew into our lives
And gave us males assurance our wives
Wouldn't have thoughts of other guys
But a tend is happy heart at home
Is unassailable haven from the horny, ha ha
Why is it berries always seem riper on another man's bush?
This fear, plus the need to stick around until the kids were grown
Is why love was developеd
Why, I predict love would prove a much morе powerful drive than sex, don't you?
I mean, two people won't want anybody else but one another
Now that we got this pair-bond love thing goin'
I can't imagine anything bigger than that in the picture, can you?
Love is where it's at
The fellas here are swell, we rap about all sorts of things
But underneath, we're a one mind
"I wonder what she's doin' now, the girl I left behind"
Hell, I know that now I've developed this very strong pair-bond with my girl - my mate
Having once done this, I should have no concern about her loyalty or fidelity 'til I return
Except... except, as you may have by now detected
There's a creeping doubt this process was ever really perfected...