Anyone But Me

Slow heartbeats, all I've ever seen
Were people happy with their circumstances unlike me
All I've ever wanted, all I've ever dreamed
Was in the body of another person just like -

I know the pastures are greener when I can't touch 'em
But the feeling that I'm losing it when I see him is not it
There's something sacred 'bout things you'll never reach
But heaven's nothing to me, if I can't be who I want to be

I wish I was anyone but me
All the dreams I've had of being him were nightmares in themselves
I wish I was anywhere but here
My heart is beating in a body that I don't hold dear

You can tell me to love myself, but I
Can't love a body that makes me want to die!
You can tell me to love myself, but I
Can't love a mind that can kill itself tonight!

Born in the wrong shoes, I stay up for hours
Crying my eyes out, cause fuck I can't get by any longer
And these hands of mine, look nothing like his at all
Am I just jealous or is this want something even stronger

And then I question it, why was I born like this?
Feel like a freak that was made wrong, a black abyss
This is the least of my problems, and still it messes with me
All of the things that I've denied, come back to fuck with me

And I don't want to die, I just don't wanna be me
With this body and these thoughts that make me wanna scream
If I'm re-born again, would I be made right this time?
I want to be in somebody that feels like they're alright

I know its silly to you, I know you'll think I'm insane
But if I wasn't born like this I wouldn't know this pain
So tell me, what is it like to feel happy?
When I wake up alone, I know I'll still be empty

I wish I was anyone but me
All the dreams I've had of being him were nightmares in themselves
I wish I was anywhere but here
My heart is beating in a body that I don't hold dear

You can tell me to love myself, but I
Can't love a body that makes me want to die!
You can tell me to love myself, but I
Can't love a mind that can kill itself tonight!

If it was up to me, I'd be reborn again
If it was up to me, If it was up to me
Just let my feelings change, and I'll forget it all
But by that time I will not be the same

And all I have is this fear, that I will one day change
Come to accept what I have, and just stop fighting
Despite the flaws of myself, these limitations I'm born with
All I've wanted was to be the boy that I never was

If that means having to change, if that's my view of the future
I will not give in to these chains that tie me down so deep
Despite what anyone says, I am a man and I know it
I know myself when no one hears that I have made a sound

Maybe you're different, maybe you're just like me
I know dysphoria's a bitch but it does not own you
All we know is what we're not so change the things you know you ought
And if we get out alive, I'll see you on the other side

I wish I was anyone but me
All the dreams I've had of being him were nightmares in themselves
I wish I was anywhere but here
My heart is beating in a body that I don't hold dear

You can tell me to love myself, but I
Can't love a body that makes me want to die!
You can tell me to love myself, but I
Can't love a mind that can kill itself tonight!