Anti-Sea Shanty

Yo-ho-ho-ho and a bottle of mead
I got a secret, I hate the sea
I eat all my lemons I'm fit as can be
But out on the ocean, you won't find me

Can't make me walk the plank
With my feet here on the land
The greatest treasure of them all
Is the use of both my hands
You're stuck eating hard tack
While I'm here eating veal
I'm a pillar of virtue
And you just pillage and steal

Sure you get the glory
And sure you get thе fame
You set your own hours
And you have a funny namе
Why did I even put accordions in this song?

Aw screw it sign me up
I've been a pirate all along!