Animals

Now that I'm alone I feel the lonely brokenness
Of all the wicked avenues I've ever sold my love on
All these moments of meekness and trembling subsided
In the outright abandon of this orphan child

Home is on the highway, living on soft bread and solace
I guess I'm waiting for nightfall or a solar eclipse
And I wake up half-empty
Only to be filled again with mourning

He's my evil shadow dove
My black Palamito
Can't break him like a diamond skull
I can't seem to do so
Can't just rub him out
Like The Mob used to do so
Like memories of porno & teastains & tobacco O'h

It's a mini disastro
Bigger than the ice age
Don't know if baby dinosaurs
Maybe could live through it
Or Indians and butterflies;
What's crushed is my spirit
Oh I fear it is too fragile
Like fall-leaves burn like paper

I always knew
I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals?
Spend all my time
Amongst the animals
And on the tracks I would go
They lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals

Oh, I'm just a fall-leaf, something simple and shy like that
That's how my heart lies, down beside the sidewalk
Like an empty restaurant filled with perfume and balloons
I sit and entertain the bizarre ghosts of my soul, Lord -

His name still lingers, maybe lactates on my tongue
Perhaps I'm just teething for a foreign, fallen destiny:
Miserable but mine
I look like his mother or Sophia Loren in an
Old fashioned movie
Slow motion, I cling to my child
Desperate for love -

One day soon my brother died
Made me remember all the subordinate feelings I cast aside, and
Maybe I had lied when I said I was ok
Just getting along like a little song that stops to sing and say:
"Wild willow, windy winter
Won't you blow through me
My whole eternity?"

I always knew
I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals?
Spend all my time
Amongst the animals
And on the tracks
I would go
They lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals