Andy Kaufman

Now I know it ain't right, but I decided I had to
Us poets paint life, but don't get recognized till after
So I faked my own death just to see what would happen
As I take shallow breaths and wait for people's reaction
It was funny at first, but I had to hold my laughter...wait
Before long I was on display at an open casket wake
And I'm the main attraction who draws a crowd
A freak show of sorts
Good thing my skin is pale enough to pass as a decomposing corpse
Frozen in my thoughts, laying stiff, playing with
People's emotions and awaiting a kiss from praying
Lips that I hate but miss
She didn't show, although she sent a card with flowers
How considerate, little bitch would make me sit in my car for hours
Heartless powers start to devour my patience, it gets me violent
I'm ready to fly shit and end everything like "I quit"
Then again I sit deathly quiet, biting my tongue
Just excited that some kids who were invited to come did
I'm the center of attention, the talk of the town
It ain't all that profound
But on this special day of mine I'm the one the universe revolves around
It's like a birthday, kind of
I also found that it's the worst way to find love
White doves battle black crows in one of the back rows
And everybody my ass knows back home is sporting black clothes
Looking glum as usual, it's all too familiar
I put the fun back into funeral
My morbid humor'll kill ya
For all that it's worth, people who I thought were jerks
Were putting on the water works and it sorta hurts
My momma stroked my hair with so much care but hardly spoke
Now my heart is broke, and yeah I should've let her in on the joke
But I'm honestly choked up, and I'm stuck holding back my tears
As I absorb the atmosphere, "I wanna turn back, I'm scared"
Then a hand touches my shoulder to calm my nerves
And something odd occurs because I heard my father's words
So I got disturbed, as he expressed what he's never said
What bothered me the most is that I remembered, he's dead
I manifested destiny
The best and worst of worlds has come true
As I'm buried alive, in the back of my mind echoes his words
"I love you"

[Outro]
Irony is a funny bastard
I mean you gotta be funny
When your mere existence is totally dependent upon God's twisted sense of humor
And I could cut this kid with a knife he's living so thick
The knife struck
Over privileged kids try to tell me life sucks
Men preoccupy their minds
Thinking about all the guys their wives had sexual relations with
I'd have patience if the innocence weren't lost
But when I scrub my hands the purity rinsed off
And when I scrubbed some more protective gloves tore
The only thing saving me from loving...Her