Android Ashley

[ASHLEY]
I think you're cute my name is Ashley
And I work at the computer store
That's what I never say to Kyle
The barista at the coffee shop next door
I watch him sadly from the counter
Where I always pick the wobbly stool

He hands me
My latte
And smirks in
This hot way
But I just
Cannot play cool

The clear and logical solution
Is to send a robot in my place
A robot modeled after me except that
She can deal with Kyle face to face
Been working on her 40 weeks or so
With barely time to sleep or eat

Her parts are
Built custom
All that's left
Are just some
Last circuits
I must complete

Android Ashley
I wish I were you
Instructions tell you what to do
And if you fail you can't feel blue

Android Ashley
When you're good to go
Maybe then at last I'll know
How to fix the bugs in Ashley 1.0

The final chip arrived today so
I install it in the vacant port
I solder in the last connections
Hit the power switch
And pray there's not a short
She whirs to life
Her optic sensors turn my way
I wonder what they see

She holds out
Her hand to
Accept my command
Ooh, I have made
A brand new me

Android Ashley
I wish I were you
Instructions tell you what to do
And if you fail you can't feel blue

Android Ashley
Now you're good to go
Maybe soon at last I'll know
How to fix the bugs in Ashley 1.0

She walks up to the counter
Run program talk to Kyle
Sub-routine order latte
Call function wave and smile
Parse input 'Hey, how are you?'
Play text to voice 'I'm fine'
Parse input 'You seem different'
And suddenly I see the flaw in my design

If I wrote this program perfectly
I won't need to make corrections
But if Kyle falls for Robot me
He'll never love my imperfections

So I abort the program
And quickly call her back
I start the shutdown process
But then she turns to me
Before the screen goes black

[ANDROID ASHLEY]
Human Ashley
I wish I were you
No one can tell you what to do
The things you feel are real and true

Human Ashley
Do not envy me
You know all that life can be
I wish I knew how it feels to be so free

[ASHLEY]
So I see Kyle the barista
At the coffee shop, he looks my way
I think you're cute
My name is Ashley
And I work at the computer store
I say