And the Sun Pissed Red

I've been good for weeks now I'm telling ya I'm in control
I've got my shit together I know when I should fold
It's just tonight nothing at all to fear
You'll be with me all the time it's not like I could run off anywhere
I go right home, but I won't be alone
A thousand in cash and a mobile phone
I don't know how I'll stop
I sure can't tell you when
I am lost in that whirpool again
Don't think I'll ever stop
Can't see a reason why
Only dying makes me feel, feel alive
It's that constant burden of trying to make it bearable
When my life is so fucked up and so far from reparable
That make me look for that final nail for my coffin
It's way past midnight but I find hundreds in the nothing
(The same lies I've told everybody including myself a hundred times)
I go right home, I won't be alone
A thousand in cash and a mobile phone
I don't know how I'll stop
I sure can't tell you when
I am lost in that whirpool again
Don't think I'll ever stop
Can't see a reason why
Only dying makes me feel alive
Wide awake, I never went to bed
Naked by the window
And the sun is pissing red
My hands look rusty, guess my nose has bled
Then I remember what my father said, what he said
I don't know how I'll stop
I sure can't tell you when
I am lost in that whirpool again
Don't think I'll ever stop
Can't see a reason why
Only dying makes me feel alive