An Instrument

I don't remember ever being someone else
But here i am, on this stage singing like i mean it
Watching you stare back at me
Like you've seen a ghost, which is pretty close
You can see through what i believed in
I was an instrument, i was a messenger
But what you are doesn't matter until you've sold it
And i've nothing left for you to buy
I let you watch us whither
In the name of something bigger
I guess that i was given
Something greater than my hands could hold
I know that i could fake this and you'd eat it up
But it's not in me to cheat your parents out of their money
See, i'm no more a tortured artist than a self-serving, temperamental addict to the sound of my own praise
And i could write for days and days without finding a word that would bear repeating
But still, i can't put this pen down, like it's going to somehow make you proud or make me more of a man than i am now
Or allow us the words to respond for the years that this song has taken
And i've nothing left for us to say
So this is where i brought us
To float without a purpose
The fire i lit consumed us
The boat, the crew, the tourists
We all paid to be
Something greater than my hands could hold