An Honest 2018 Christmas Song

[Intro]
We won't mess up 2018...

We wish you a Merry Christmas
With a hint of cognitive dissonance
It's a 2018 Christmas
How can we celebrate

[Verse 1]
We started strong with Logan Paul
His screw up in Japan
And who the heck eats Tide Pods?
A shame this trend began
I'm sick of Fornite dances
And web trash of all kinds
And we're all leaving Facebook behind
On to Instagram, yes, numb our minds

[Verse 2]
Oh, but it's not hopeless, now
There's always more to say
Olympians united us
Global talents on display
(Sing!)
Flooooooooo-rida
FEMA helps post-Michael
(Sing!)
Gloooooooooo-ria
More people recycle

[Verse 3]
Fascism is spreading faster
Fa la la la la la la la la
Yemen famine a disaster
Nom nom nom nom nom nom no more nom
Children locked up, nuclear clashes
Fa la la la la car crash Brexit la
(Sing!)
Brazil's museum now in ashes
Fa la dammit la, la la la

[Verse 4]
Prince Harry got married
Black Panther was a smash hit
And all 12 boys and coach
Were pulled from the cave
So many more women
Succed in holding office
And The Queer Eye guys are awesome
The Queer Eye guys are awesome
If we have nothing else
At least The Queer Eye guys are hot

[Bridge]
O Canada, O Canada
You're looking more inviting

[Verse 4]
The young people of this world
Have shown they'll lead the way
But the world we're giving them to use
Grows warmer every day
We launched a sports car into space
And the raccoon made it on the top
The existential dread and fear
Oh, will it ever stop?
No

[Outro]
To 2019, my friends
For 2019
Let's try to not be total dicks
In 2019!