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This is a witty and dark-humored song about the confusion of conflicting opinions and schools of thought surrounding Barbie dolls, told through the story of a student who chose to write a critical take on Barbie for an assignment in school.
Like a flip flop feminists relationship with Barbie
Hardly the unsung perfectionist, perhaps white supremacist
Or Is this over-analysis of plastic?
A fanatic franticly forge five thousand words
On the relevance and development of marketing to girls
And the harshness of the world, against all odds she worked 130 jobs
But still thrilled mostly by the presence of heartthrobs
Unaffected by patriarchy or recessions, but soon it must be questioned
Does the doll face only represent what first is projected
Grammar and spellcheck, half these points make no sense
The deadlines days away and their conclusions a conflicted mess
So how did molded plastic become so problematic
Where negi readings are dramatic but posis over-romantic
And maybe Barbie would rather be a gnarly dirty harpy
Tattoos drawn on with sharpie, kissing girls at a party
A figure once seen as pristine whilst preserved in a box
Most barbies end up naked and limbless with their hair shaved off
Perhaps it should be mentioned that Barbie would be sectioned
Having weigh-ins everyday for what others call perfection
You can say she's just a doll so what does their size really mean
60s slumber party Barbie still read books saying don't eat
Perhaps an ever-changing icon reflecting female progress
Perhaps a shallow feminism focused on individual success
And now we are over the word count
Got to edit down what's written with no conclusion found out
Tangled and confused and now scared of being misread
Wishing they'd done GI Joe male violence and conscription instead
Exhausting approaches Barbies subtext seems absent
A one dimensional character with endless multifacets
Time is nearly up they must be pragmatic
Conclusion: the most human thing about Barbie is the fact she's problematic
After quick and heavy editing
Self-flagellation for a cop-out ending
In time they hand their essay in
They forgot their referencing
You have failed your degree
£27,000 down the drain
Ask yourself, "Was it worth it?
What did you learn about Barbie?"
An Academics Lament On Barbie was written by Daniel Watson & Jay Clayton.
An Academics Lament On Barbie was produced by Joe Clayton.
Crywank released An Academics Lament On Barbie on Thu Dec 21 2017.